My Two Favorite Places…To Hide
20 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: Art, Culture, Favorite Places, Library, Museum
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We all have places that we go to get away from daily realities. There are bars, boutiques, bookstores, or a number of other places where we seek shelter. In addition there is the pen and journal where we pour out our anguish or frustration about work and life in general. I enjoy sipping on a cocktail from time to time, love to shop for shoes or a new garment, and bookstores always make me smile. However, I find the greatest peace when I visit an art museum or my local library.
Art Institute of Chicago
My favorite art museums are located in Chicago, IL my hometown and Columbia, SC where I now reside. Visiting the Art Institute of Chicago (AIC) with my mom when I was approximately 9 years old is where I learned about the world renowned architect Frank Lloyd Wright as well as my favorite artist Georgia O’Keefe. Whenever, I am home I try to visit my beloved museum and walking up the grand marble stairs, to the permanent collections always brings joy to my spirit. My last visit was some time ago and I was happy to see that the museum was in the middle of renovation and expansion. The expansion would allow more work to be on display as well as provide additional storage space; great art should have a chance to be shared with the world.
Within my current city of residence, I often seek refuge within the galleries of the Columbia Museum of Art (CMA), where a chandelier in the permanent collection made me decide to join as a South Carolina resident. As would be expected the CMA is smaller in size than the AIC, however it is not lacking in beautiful and inspiring art work. One of my favorite parts of the museum is an affiliate organization the Columbia Design League, whose focus is on education and informing its members about good design. Things that are aesthetically pleasing make us happy, which is why it is important to support and visit places dedicated to arts and culture.
Fredrick Douglass Library – Chicago, IL
As much as I love to visit art museums, I absolutely adore my public library. I received my first library card in 1971 on a kindergarten trip to the Fredrick Douglass Branch of the Chicago Public Library system. I do not recall the first book I checked out but I still remember that magical card that let me take books home. During that time the date of return was stamped inside the book and the sound of the stamp always made me happy. During numerous school visits we would watch movies on an 8mm projector; the whirring sound of the projector along with the crinkle and smells of books enveloped me taking me too far away places. In my innocence, I imagined that the librarians had read all of the books within the concrete and marble walls. As I got older I explored other public libraries within Chicago and a close second to my favorite was the Cultural Center Branch. Often the Cultural Center was mistaken for the main branch; however, it was merely the downtown branch and is where I learned about my favorite poet Gwendolyn Brooks. I eventually met Mrs. Brooks after a reading at the library and got bitten by the poetry bug. A large part of my creative self is due to my exposure to events and exhibits at public libraries and art museums.
During the 1970’s and 80’s there seemed to be an extensive importance of the need for libraries and museums. Within some circles the need for these institutions are still understood but it seems that within the legislative chambers of state and federal government the importance is waning. There shouldn’t be a requirement of citizens to choose funding for schools, libraries, or museums they are all equally important. If we are to be considered a super-power we must be conscious to the fact that arts and culture in addition to our democratic system is needed in these United States. I encourage you to support your local libraries and art museums through financial donations and memberships but most importantly by visiting them on a regular basis.
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From Sad To Happy
13 May 2012 1 Comment
in Feature Tags: life, opinion, politics, President Obama
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This weekend has been filled with a bevy of interesting situations and emotions. On Friday I attended the Jefferson-Jackson Dinner the annual fundraiser of the South Carolina Democratic Party (SCDP). With this being a Presidential election year events like this one help rally support for the Democrats agenda. The guest speaker was Gov. Deval Patrick of Massachusetts. His message was encouraging and inspiring with a focus of being purposeful Democrats. We were all motivated to have a strong backbone and support our President against Republican rhetoric.
The primary event this weekend held by the SCDP is its state convention. I attended as a delegate to this convention. But the most exciting part was being listed on my congressional districts ballot for a National Delegate seat to the Democratic National Convention to be held in Charlotte, NC. I was not successful at earning a congressional district seat; however, I also filed to run for an At-Large seat. The At-Large election to fill the remainder of 12 seats (7 women & 5 men) was late in the day. Results of the election were included in The State newspaper (http://thestate.com) today. And among the 67 names listed was my own Joyce Rose-Harris.
This was not my first time running for a National Delegate seat, I also ran in 2008. I did fairly well but did not win a seat. This year I had optimistic hope due to previously making the female At-Large ballot down from 60 to 8 females. In addition I have worked over 5 years, May 2007 until now for Obama. I believe in the work that our President has done for the country. And even though Republicans do not want to acknowledge any of President Obama’s success, an economy that was tanked by the Bush Administration has actually begun to turn around. There has been job growth; there is hope for the young girls of this country with the signing of The Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act; the signing of Health Care Reform Act; and repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Finally most recently President Obama followed his liberal conscious and stated his affirmation of same sex marriage, a bold personal act of opinion.
So on this Mother’s Day as I reflect on the love poured into me by my late mother, I am not as sad as I thought I would be. I did shed tears in the early hours but my husband (his mother deceased since 1993) and I attended church. We heard a message about God’s love and then went to a tasty brunch. This weekend included political awareness and actIon as well as reflection of happy memories. It is always interesting how one event can reverse the emotions connected with a holiday. Now forever memories of Mother’s Day 2012 and SC Democratic Weekend 2012 will make me smile.
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PaisleyPerspective…Changes
29 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: Art, Culture, life, opinion, politics
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We as humans are responsible for our own existence. If in your right mind and an adult you are obligated to be present in your life. Each day that you awake with your faculties in tack you should seize all opportunity to be great. Choosing to live life without excuses will lead to endless rewards. I have a list of goals that I refer to when making life choices because everything we do has an outcome but it should also have a purpose.
During the later part of 2010 the idea for PaisleyPerspective a blog dedicated to sharing opinions & ideas was born out of my opinionated thoughts. I was serving as the Editor for a political blog “Politics Is Power” founded by Douglas Wilson but I wanted to share other insights not just those focusing on political issues & subjects. So during unexpected free time due to unemployment because of a reduction in force, I conceived the idea for my own blog. My tagline “sharing opinions & ideas” was decided on so that I could have the freedom to discuss multiple topics.
Recently, I have decided that I was taking a non committal route by not deciding on a focused subject matter for my blog. Early on when someone mentioned the blog “Huffington Post” the thought that usually came to mind was a political blog with some entertainment thrown into the mix. Today if you hear the name “PaisleyPerspective” you don’t have a specific topic that comes to mind. Starting May 1, 2012 there will be a change; the focus of PaisleyPerspective will be arts & social awareness. Being a poet and a political & social activist lead me to this decision.
There will still be much sharing of opinions & ideas but now there will be consistency in posts. In addition I hope to post more regularly. Under arts the topics will be related to all genres such as visual, musical, theater, dance & literature. Topics under social awareness will primarily include voter education & highlight of current social issues in and not in the news. Finally, I will from time to time post special blogs but overall when you hear PaisleyPerspective think arts & social awareness.
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A Year Later: Remembering My Mom
15 Apr 2012 3 Comments
in Feature Tags: death, family, life, mother, opinion
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Over recent days I have been consumed with getting tasks done associated with my job. My mind has also been busy on other things associated with writing and activism around this year’s Presidential campaign. However, I keep coming back to this time last year when my mom transitioned over and became a true angel. My last communication with her was at 7:04am on April 15, 2011 when she responded to a text I sent. For approximately a month when my grandmother moved to a nursing home I checked on my mom each morning. This was in addition to our evening wind down talks on the phone that we had done for nearly a decade.
Mommy and Me
My mom responded by texting “have a good day & luv u 2”. I cherished these words that she said to me in text as well as verbally, many times over my life. Like me sometimes she could be moody and want to escape into her own space, she too was an only child. I believe the connection of us being only children, allowed a unique understanding of each other. We knew when to give space to the other. I think back to weeks before I started working after 7 months of unemployment, when she would sit near where I was just to be in the same space. Way back she and I had conversations about whether people knew when their time of death was approaching. I believe she felt her time on earth ending soon, maybe it was due to her declining health. Cigarettes had finally done her in through breathing complications from COPD.
I am determined not to focus on the day my mom died but to focus on the almost 66 years she lived. And of those the almost 45 years she was present in my earthly world. I had a friend once say that my mom exuded love; I always thought that was one of the most beautiful things, anyone ever said about her while she was alive. In death, the same type of things were said about her, mainly that she was a humble Christian woman. Just like everyone my mom was not perfect but to me she was pretty near to it. You may think that I am romanticizing the relationship of mother and child but we were very much understanding of each other’s personality quirks.
I have thought hard on how I would describe my mom. For me the word that is most descriptive of her is compassionate. She believed in showing compassion to everyone, it didn’t matter the person or their status in the world. In addition, she was somewhat fearless even though during her later years she was more careful and hesitant with new decisions. One of the best things she taught me was to be curious and explore the world outside of my comfort zone. I was born and raised in the inner city of a large metropolis; and can honestly say I have ventured as far North, South, East, and West that I possibly could among it’s many neighborhoods. This is due to my mom’s adventurous spirit to hop on a city bus or “L” train and just go explore a new neighborhood or museum.
My Mom
Finally, I am blessed to know that my mom loved me until her last breath she showed it everyday. “I love you” were not merely words we said to each other but we showed it in many forms. From her small sacrifices of giving me a few dollars while I was in college to making me a special peach bread pudding and many many more things I am filled up with an infinite amount of her love. Also while she was living, I ensured that I told her how much she meant to me. Since love is energy and energy never dies, I know that she lives forever through her love. I miss her terribly but the ache and tears are not as severe as a year ago though they are still present. One thing I know for sure is I am blessed to have been born from the womb of loving and kind mother.
Angel Mom
(first published May 8, 2011)
Love lives forever;
it’s energy spreads
wide with wispof wings, blowing
breezes over me
like mom’s kisses,warm happiness washes
over my being.
She is now light,like energy love’s
power never fades.
With a glanceat her coat
chair, or Bible
I remember, hugs.Sense of humor
lives too; playing
hide and seekwith me, giggling
as she flys by.
I live and thrivebecause she gave
me independent creativitiy.
Wiping away tears,remembering cloudy days
bring light; rainbows
cannont be formed
without the rain.by: Joyce M. Rose-Harris © 2011
In memory of my mommy, Betty J. Rose
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Love Is Complicated
20 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: life, love, Music, Whitney Houston
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This past Tuesday the day when the world celebrates love Valentines Day for some was happy and others it was lonely. Life is filled with balance there are people with abundance worldwide as well as those dealing with famine. There are those that know love from birth to death and then there are those who have never felt love only scorn and hate. I am blessed to have been filled with love from being in my mother’s womb to the present and I attempt to share the abundance of love given to me.
News coverage over the past week has focused on the death of Whitney Elizabeth Houston Brown. For those living under a rock Whitney Houston as she was best known had one of the be best voices of her time or that of any era. On the many octaves that she could reach was carried notes of soul stirring melody. Just like the rest of the world that enjoyed this multi-talented woman I am still saddened by her death.
Like most women especially African American women, I first learned of Whitney Houston through the pages of ‘Seventeen’ magazine. A giggling girl of 18, she graced the November 1981 cover holding an ice cream cone, she was the first African American to be on the cover. It took 37 years for ‘Seventeen’ magazine to wake up and get with the reality that there was a true market of allowance receiving brown skinned girls who purchased their magazine. In addition back then we also purchased the products advertised within those glossy pages.
For the world she came to life when her self-titled album ‘Whitney Houston’ dropped in 1985. It was without doubt that this young woman had vocal chops that could stand the test of time. With each album after her first the world fell deeper and deeper into love with her and her talent. We were able to see her on the silver screen as well as in movies like ‘The Bodyguard’ that took a Dolly Parton song ‘I Will Always Love You’ (yep Dolly Parton) and made it one of her own signature songs. Sadly with all of her triumph there was also trials & tribulations with regard to substance abuse that many ultimately believe lead to her death.
Regardless of who loves us, whether it is family and friends or a world filled with fans, we must first love ourselves. Without strong self-love we can fall into negative behavior very quickly. I don’t doubt that Whitney Houston loved herself but for whatever reason she let self-doubt sneak into her world. Sadly when it did seem like she was ready to rise above her demons she died under what circumstances that are still under investigation.
Finally, since the beginning of time we have always admired those in celebrity status. From the kings and queens of Egypt to our modern day royalty of Hollywood we are in love with superstardom. But while we admire celebrities, we should also remember that they are people just like us.
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I Am From Proud People
05 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: family, History, life
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This past Wednesday began the month of February. In America February is a month to celebrate African American history and culture as well as and as celebrating love during St. Valentine’s Day. Ironically St. Valentine’s Day is named after a Christian martyr in addition February 14, 1929 there was a massacre of 9 members of the mob. However, for this blog I am focusing on the love of heritage and culture of my ancestors, those who survived an in-human journey shackled and chained in slave ships during the Middle Passage to infant country of the United States. Also there are those who were indigenous people of this continent slain for their land.
I am the product of proud people who believed in the importance of education. They understood that in order to move forward it was necessary to gain as much knowledge as possible. It was not merely important to work hard each day but to be educated and to educate. My great-grandfather owned a massive amount of land; he and my great-grandmother provided food to those less fortunate. My great-grandmother in part from the Native American tribe of the Choctaw understood the land and how it worked. She often gave food to neighbors black and white, race did not matter to her but making certain people were fed was her primary concern.
Uniquely, my great-grandfather was one of the first people within his county of Clarendon in South Carolina to own a Ford Model T. They were Christian church going people and taught their children the importance of the church in addition to family. Some of my great-grandparents children attended college and became educators rising to the level of school principals. With the growth of generations their children’s children pursued college educations. So for me as a child it was never a question of would I attend college but where I would attend college. I am proud to be a third generation college graduate.
It is ingrained in my DNA the importance of my heritage; and to know from whence I come. I know that everyone doesn’t have the same economic means nor higher education, however, I believe that should not stop one from growing as a person. Most things in life that we seek require some struggle and effort. The best things in life may be free but the things that help you sustain life require work. This month as the United States takes time to focus on the accomplishments of African Americans, I look to myself to continue making history and make my ancestors dreams today’s reality. I am a proud person born of proud people and I know that greatness is my birthright.
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Be Informed…Be Engaged
21 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: life, opinion, politics
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Today, I attended an organizing event associated with the Obama 2012 campaign and other fellow democrats. Yes that is correct I am a very proud member of the Democratic Party. I am African American, however, that doesn’t automatically make me a card caring democrat. What makes me a democrat is my belief system, which is the reality that there is a need for government in our lives and that programs like Social Security and legislation for affordable health care are needed in this country.
Over time it seems that a great divide has formed between the two main political parties in this country. Republicans are deemed as far right and excessively conservative and Democrats are far left and excessively liberal. There is no middle ground where we can come together as citizens of the same country to ensure a better nation. Constant bickering in Congress slows down and sometimes stops any legislative progress from occurring. Then there is the strong-minded belief of individuals who are against any agenda that President Obama puts in motion.
I personally do not understand the intolerance against one of the most intelligent and forward thinking President’s that we have had in some time. It makes me angry when I see the disrespect that is given to President Obama by members of the Republican party including current Presidential candidates, it is really so hard to show him respect. Other nations are watching what we do and I am shamed for what they are seeing. Ironically the citizens of this country think that because President Obama seemed to do the impossible when elected that he has a magician’s wand and could wave away 8 years of the Bush Administration’s negative impact on this nation.
For those who may have your doubts let me list out just a few of the accomplishments that have been made by President Obama, who has been in office for 3 years and 1 day as of the writing of this blog.
- Signed into law an economic plan that saved America from a depression, restored growth, and created or saved as many as 3.6 million jobs.
- Signed into law landmark health insurance reform that holds insurance companies accountable, gives people and small businesses greater control of health care, and improves the quality of health care for all Americans.
- Fought against Wall Street lobbyists to sign into law historic consumer protections and financial reforms that shield American families from unfair lending practices from credit card and mortgage companies, rein in the excesses of Wall Street, and work to prevent future financial crises.
- Reformed the college loan system by ending subsidies to banks and using the money to make college more affordable. He also invested in community colleges that are providing Americans with the skills they need to succeed in today’s economy.
- Rescued the American auto industry, which saved millions of American jobs and helped GM and Chrysler become profitable again while repaying taxpayers.
- Repealed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” which makes it possible for individuals to serve in the military regardless of their sexual orientation.
- Helped women get the equal pay they deserve by signing into law the Lilly Ledbetter Act.
- Ended the war in Iraq, initiated a responsible drawdown of forces in Afghanistan, and ordered the operation that killed Osama bin Laden.
In conclusion, I would like to say that no matter your political party affiliation, it is important to stay informed and engaged in the process. From the recent Iowa Caucuses it was shown that every vote can and does make a difference. In addition, unless you have been living under a rock you know that from both the 2000 and 2004 Presidential elections victory can change based on a legal decision. It is up to all citizens of this here United States of America to take ownership in their future, so again I end with be informed and be engaged in the political process.
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How Soon We Forget…
16 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: life, opinion
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Today here in the United States we are honoring Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr during an official federal holiday. But even with the election of an African American as President of the United States there is still much growth needed for this country. When I say growth, I mean the reduction or eradication of ignorance with regards to race. We as a country are quite forgetful on most days when it comes to remembering how one circumstance or the other developed. Quite simply, I mean the current state of our economy. We were near the brink of another massive economic depression prior to the election of the current President. However, there is frustration because the chaos created during eight years of the Bush Administration is not reversed in the past three years by the Obama Administration.
We all know that it is easy to destroy most things. Think about the demolition of a skyscraper, with just a few hits from a wrecking ball the building will be demolished. However, try to rebuild a structure knocked down it will take a significant amount of effort and may be near impossible depending on circumstances. In addition to the political arena we also are forgetful about social issues that we initially show outrage over. One major news story that held our attention last year is the Troy Davis case; even with clear evidence being discovered the Georgia governor allowed for the execution of possibly an innocent man.
I could go on and on about this subject but I would rather encourage people to intelligently argue about politics or social issues. Even when a crisis seems to pass it is important to remain aware of the situation. Whether it be destruction from a hurricane or earthquake it is important to remember there are long-term impacts to a nation. Also educate yourself about the issues that a particular political candidate is highlighting and dig deep. Be informed, remain educated and be active in your own existence.
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1st Year Anniversary for PaisleyPerspective
01 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: blog, opinion, Random
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You may have noticed that I didn’t mention the launch of PaisleyPerspective as a positive in the blog ’2011 Recaps & 2012 Future Hopes’; however, I believe that mention deserves its own blog post. During the later part of 2010 the idea of PaisleyPerspective a blog dedicated to sharing opinions & ideas was born. The idea behind PaisleyPerspective came from my opinionated self and the desire to write about various topics.
The inaugural post on January 1, 2011 had record totals of reads, later post have not quite reached the inital totals. However, I am will work hard to get more people to the page; those who currently enjoy PaisleyPerspective can pass on the word. The birth of the blog came with the idea to help share other opinions and ideas not merely my own. In the later months of 2011 the voice of the blog post were primarly mine but I always welcome content from others. In the coming days the monthly themes for 2012 will be posted in the ‘About’ page.
As I have stated my ultimate goal of this blog is the sharing of opinions and ideas. Overall my messages lean toward a positive spin of situations or events. In order to keep interest, the coming post I will also write about issues that require direct opinions that may not be as positive. It is never the intent of PaisleyPerspective to be controversial but sometimes certain subject matter itself stirs up emotion and strong opinions. Finally, I am open to hearing from you our readers to know what you want to see more or less of on the site. Sharing of your opinions & ideas will help in making PaisleyPerspective one of the best most read blogs in 2012.
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Blessed Before…Blessed After
01 Apr 2011 2 Comments
in General Article Tags: blessings, faith, unemployment
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Since the creation of PaisleyPerspective, I mentioned in prior posts that I was unemployed due to a reduction in force. I am happy to say that I am now employed using my 20 plus years of professional experience in the property and casualty insurance industry. All the areas that I have worked and all my experience are used each day in my new job. It is an awesome feeling to work in a place that is positive as well as has an outlet for me to write, I was able to create a blog at my job. However, I must admit this journey did test my faith but I believe I passed the test.
My journey down this road began in the Fall of 2009, when an email was sent to all employees indicating reorganizational changes were in the horizon. If you recall this was during the roughest period of what is now deemed as “The Great Recession”. Jobs being loss and sales declining trickled their way down to the commercial insurance business in summary reducing premium and increasing losses. So there I was reading about changes that might impact my livelihood and me. Never did I think it would really affect me, yes I was that arrogant.
Then the first of the reduction in forces came on none other than the day before Halloween and co-workers that I knew were given dire news. The reality of what might come my was right there in my face. Over the next months we were given the opportunity to say good-byes since the position eliminations were out two months. There was a span of time until the next wave and then on July 1st, I received “the email” advising me to meet in the conference room.
I felt like I was in a Charlie Brown cartoon, you know where the adults speak like “wha wha, wha wha”. I along with other co-workers were advised that our last day would be September 3rd, so after being given the news, I thought oh I surely will have found employment by that date. So on a Thursday with my birthday a few days away I went home for a long weekend. The following week the job hunt began and the referrals to positions were sent my way. I interviewed and sent resumes out to friends and posted on various government sites. Even while attending the 50th National Convention of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated in New Orleans, I visited the job fair area looking sharp with resumes in hand.
Returning to work after New Orleans there was less than a month before the separation date. I began to feel a little less easy about what was to come. The week of September 3rd we met with the state unemployment agency representatives in our office and filled out paperwork. Early in the week I had cleaned out the massive amount of paper and accumulation of 5 years of projects into recycle bins. In addition to my 5 years in the Information Systems department, I was approaching 13 years with the company. I was mad the whole last week. And my signature saying during this time was being tested. When asked how I was doing, I would say, “I was blessed before and I will be blessed after”. I begin to focus on the things that I really needed and reduced my budget. I received a severance package; however, it was significantly reduced by taxes. Still it was good padding to add to other savings.
I was successful at landing interviews but not landing the job, I begin to question whether I should keep my dreadlocs in their current style. Maybe I should pull back my hair or even cut them out. Were people judging me by my hair? I was always professional never being to bubbly or outgoing, which most know is my normal personality. I knew that my dress was always interview appropriate but what was I doing wrong. The response most times was the same you have a vast amount of experience but we need specific experience that you do not possess. One of the saving factors during this time was my involvement with South Carolina Democratic Party and Organizing for America.-South Carolina (OFA_SC) I was serving as a Volunteer New Media Lead and responsible for postings in Facebook, Twitter, and blogs for OFA_SC.
I was also able to visit with my mother and grandmother for extended amounts of days. I made it a point not to be home very much. Even though as I now look back maybe I could have done a little more home organizing but oh well. I did get some things done, even when my laptop zonked out the day I was working on a dream job application. During the six months that I was unemployed I was able to purchase a MacBook and even an iPhone4 and still have significant savings.
There were deep discussions with God during my months of unemployment. When I went for my first unemployment benefits review I was happy to tell the case worker that I was scheduled for an interview. I didn’t get the job they decided to staff in another state but then the second benefits review I reported I will start work on Monday. Being able to say those words, I have a job uplifted my self-esteem that had become tarnished and a little dinged. The job that I have now I went with hair still in dreadlocs and let the happiness in me come out that along with perfect combination of experience landed me a job I enjoy in a place that I like to go to each day.
For every set back that came my way, not getting a job or having to purchase a new fuel pump I tried to be faithful to my Christian beliefs. I tithed my unemployment check and I helped others if I was able. I gave of my time and the idea of this blog was born with the help of dear friends from as far back as high school.
I am working in an office using experience that God helped me to get along the way. By listening to him and knowing that not once have I gone hungry in my life, a blessing in itself I knew I would make it through. I realize too that I would have never looked for or applied for this position if I were at my previous employer and I believe this to be the next stepping-stone of my career. Finally we don’t know the whole plan that God has for us but if we have faith in him we will be okay.
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By Yoga, By Faith
01 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: faith, life, Yoga
~~~
When we talked in January, I was all about new beginnings, new chapters, etc. I thought I’d finally “found myself” and was ready to embrace life – despite the sometimes tumultuous changes – once again. I was feeling positive, optimistic, in love, and at peace. That was then. This is NOW.
And NOW looks something like this: That man that I was so in love with and thought was THE ONE? Well….. happily ever has been postponed…..indefinitely. The new homes sales assistant position I interviewed for back in September, and then again in November? Let’s just say…..it’s hard out here for a non-pimp, too. And going back to school to ultimately become the next Thurgood Marshall, Johnny Cochran or Sonya Major? Hhhhmmm…..I’ll get back to you on that one.
So what the hell happened between January now and right now? Faith happened. I stepped out on it.
I am a hopeless, and sometimes clueless, romantic. I think falling in love, being in love, the everyday-ness of love is what men and women (or men and men, women and women – no judgments here) are put on this earth to experience. But sometimes, things aren’t quite as they really should be. Maybe you hear “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, baby”. But he actually said, “I like your wit, your smile, spending time with you (which really means, the sex is great) but I also like the wit, the smile, and the time spent with someone else” And he absolutelypostivelymostdefinitely means that the sex is great with her too.
Or, you say, “You’re the most wonderful man I’ve ever met. You’re good to me, you support me in all that I do, and you always got my back”. You actually mean, “You may be the best thing since peanut butter met jelly, but we’re really better friends then lovers”. And what he actually hears is, “She’ll change her mind.” So between all the ‘he says’ but ’he means’, and the ’you say’ but ‘you mean’, you know this just ain’t working. So you step out on faith. Yes, it is scary and lonely not having a special someone with whom to share your life. But you assure yourself that you will not walk the earth alone forever. And in the meantime, there’s HGTV, the Lifetime Channel and chocolate ice cream. And you know what? Our relationship is now stronger than ever because there are no expectations, no miscommunications, and well, no sex to complicate matters.
I spent the better part of ten years in the real estate industry. When the market implosion claimed my job in 2008, all I wanted was my career back in new homes sales. Didn’t want to work at the post office. Didn’t want to work in a hair salon. Didn’t want to substitute teach. Besides, those jobs were non-existent too. I know, because although I didn’t want those jobs, I applied for them, anyway. I tried property management because I thought it would be a worthwhile professional “consolation prize” to the career I so enjoyed. Within six months, I was miserable. And I quit. Even though it meant: indefinite unemployment, giving up my condo, moving back home to Chicago to live (rent-free) with my mother, and feeling like a loser.
I felt like a loser alright. Going into Month 8th of unemployment and now feeling like a really stupid desperate loser, I jumped at the chance to interview in for a new homes sales manager in Virginia. I didn’t get the job. But instead of feeling devastated, I was relieved. Because by then, I’d had an epiphany: I am turning my avocation for yoga into a vocation and become a certified yoga instructor. And so I did my research, spent the last of my money for certification classes, thanked my girlfriend and her husband profusely for letting me crash at their home while completing my certification, and began my professional yoga journey.
Two weeks before the start of my first yoga training class, the new home builder in Chicago called. Yes, the same new home builder that I met with for over 6 hours during 2 interviews spanning 6 months in 2010. They were now ready to offer me the sales assistant job. The salary was not great. Ok, it wasn’t even good. In fact, it sucked. No money to not only save for rainy days, but not enough to replace my ancient car or even make rent and some (not all) living expenses. And the hours wouldn’t allow me to complete my yoga certification until well into 2012. The sales assistant would’ve got me back in the new homes sales industry. But I couldn’t afford it – financially, professionally, or spiritually. So I took a deep breath, held faith’s hand and stepped out again. I turned down the job.
Yes, I actually turned down a job, no matter how pathetic the salary, in this economy. And guess what? The same day I turned down that job, I landed a 2nd interview for a more yoga-complementary position. And wait, there’s more! I also received a call about another position advocating against domestic violence. Like becoming a yoga instructor, becoming a domestic violence advocate would align and help sustain the mind/body/spirit balance that is now non-negotiable in my life.
About going back to school this fall to complete my bachelor’s, my JD, and then becoming a lawyer (like my dad) and making my family oh so proud? I will let my family keep the faith on that dream for a while longer. I’m pretty busy right now, stay tuned….. Or, if you are not living
your most authentic self in your relationships, in your career, or in your own body, step out on your own faith. I promise you it won’t magically make everything all right immediately. But in bedded in faith is patience and resolve. And I have faith in you that you’ll be all right.
~~~
Ascend
01 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
~~~
Aspire to be the best
In all you do
Shun mediocrity
That’s not for you
Keep faith in God
You’ll pass every test
Abide in him
For there is rest
Success is yours
It’s so near
You can overcome
impossibilities, so never fear
by: Billye Hardy © 2009
~~~
A Haiku
01 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
~~~
Walking blind-folded
down rocky mountain roads, guide
me home; I believe.
by: Joyce Rose-Harris © 2011
~~~
From The Editor – Issue 7 Volume 1
01 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: From The Editor, Issue 7 Vol 1
~~~
In Christianity regardless of denomination, one of the holiest days is Easter Sunday. Easter and the time leading up to this holy day celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The birth but most of all the death and resurrection are the foundation of the Christian faith. In addition to the religious association the idea of faith surrounds us each day. In marriage, we believe in the promise of our spouses being faithful. Some of the strongest faith is shown through the love of children, who love and believe in their parents even if imperfect.
As I have implied the idea of faith does not only correlate with religious beliefs. When we wake up we believe the sun will rise, even if the day is cloudy we know the sun is behind the clouds. We get in our cars and start it up usually with no problem and will be surprised if something affects our morning routine. Quite simply, faith follows us every day in almost everything we do. Overtime our faith in people, things or situations can fade but overall we always carry some form of faith with us.
During April ‘PaisleyPerspective’ will focus on the theme of ‘Fatih’, In a general article written by me, I discuss my journey during a period leading up to, during, and following six months of unemployment. My faith received a few dings, bumps, and bruises but I have come out of the situation with a better understanding of my faith. Our feature article by Mallori Scott discusses an ongoing journey of following a dream requiring much faith. In addition to the articles there is a little poetry to wet your appetite.
After you have read about our journey of faith, we want to hear from you. Share with ‘PaisleyPerspective’ about a situation that has tested your faith or made it stronger. Check out ‘Submission Guidelines’ for contact information. And as always, we hope that you take something from our sharing opinions & ideas via our PaisleyPerspective.
~~~
Purple Yoda
16 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: Music, prince rogers nelson, purple yoda
~~~
“Dearly belov`ed,
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing
called life.
Electric word life,
It means forever and that’s a
mighty long time.
But I’m here to tell you that
there’s something else — The
afterworld.” – Purple Rain Script
After The March 21 Prince Concert - Columbia, SC
This blog post is in essence the second part of “Blessed Before…Blessed After” in the prior issue. I discovered via one of my favorite newsperson’s Facebook status that Prince Rogers Nelson was coming to Columbia, SC on March 21st. The ‘Welcome 2 America Tour’ is an extension of the tour began in late 2010 in New York.
It was a surprise to all because well it is Columbia, SC. Maybe John Blackwell the New Power Generation drummer who has roots in Columbia, SC had an impact or Shelby Johnson who reigns from Greensboro, NC. This news was discovered the weekend prior to me starting work at a new job but I still had a small balance in savings and the cash on hand for tickets. I had learned to use credit only when absolutely necessary.
I persuaded my awesome husband that yes we definitely needed to attend the concert, I didn’t care if he had already seen Prince. It turns out in 1980 and 1986, good grief the man has much more music since over 25 years ago. I should mention that tickets went on sale less than 6 days before the concert, correct less than 6 days. Fast forward to after the concert it was absolutely amazing; our seats were great. The concert was truly better than I ever imagined and no indication whatsoever that Prince was slowing down.
You may wonder what all this Prince talk has to do with faith. From the beginning Prince has shown a faith and belief in his music and his art. He did start out a little risqué (well okay very risqué) but over time he has developed into a solid amazing musician, songwriter, and even mentor. Still his faith was strongest when he was fed up with Warner Bros. and took a stand, changing his name to his famous ‘Love Symbol’ until his contract ended.
During the time of the ‘The Artist Formerly Known as Prince’ or for short TAFKAP he was still writing and creating, which from it developed the New Power Generation. More than likely there was some concern about whether he would do well branching out on his own without a major label backing him but as we all now know he has done quite well.
If you haven’t figured it out, I am definitely a Prince fan. It began in 1983 when a dear sisterfriend Sheree introduced me to his music. It was solidified on July 27, 1984 after seeing 6 showings of the movie ‘Purple Rain’ on opening day. And it has grown ever since. I must admit, I am not a superfan like the gentleman in the attached photo, who happened to get a chance to dance on the purple piano but I truly am inspired by the songwriting style of the purple Yoda (in the song Laydown he sings, “from the heart of Minnesota, here come the purple Yoda).
Since he has passed the half century mark he is even better than ever. With more confidence and experience as well as the love of fans he is giving us his all. In addition, he has chosen to self-improve by letting go of the use of profanity in music and general cursing. I never thought until recently that a good example of faith could be derived by reference to Prince but he does have a song named ‘God’. So maybe the sign of the time was given to us way back when.
Finally, while researching all things Prince for this post, I discovered that Duane Nelson half-brother of Prince passed in early March. At one point he was the head of security for Prince, who better to protect you then your own brother. However, for reasons I do not know nor desire to dig up he was no longer employed by Prince when he died. In summary, for me faith in God and my own ability are what I focus on. No matter how perfect a celebrity or any public figure may appear they have issues that may even put a crack in their own faith.
~~~
Crushed Stone
16 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article, Poetry Tags: al black, hoosierinthelandofcotton
~~~
This blog was first posted by Al Black on the Hoosierinthelandofcotton’s Blog (http://hoosierinthelandofcotton.wordpress.com/) on March 17. It looks at the faith of keeping a business open even when it’s time may have passed.
A week ago, I walked over to an old boat landing and fishing camp down the road a bit from where we live near Lake Murray. Sat for a bit with the old man who owns it.
It inspired me to write a poem about our afternoon conversation. The poem has a small bit of poetic license, but I tried to convey the emotion and mood of our time together.
Crushed Stone
The lane rose slightly as it curved to the left
Along a small wooded ravine decorated with spring flowers
That grew among the abandoned appliances
Paved with crushed stone
Bits of quartz sparkled in the spring sun
Beauty does not discriminate
At the top of the hill sat several run-down cottages
Sprouting air conditioners from the windows
And rusty trash barrels by each door
In front of the cottages a concrete boat ramp
Cut through the red clay
On its way to the water’s edge
Standing like a sentinel
Was an old hand painted sign
Launch – $3 – Cash Only
A flock of white sea gulls circled
Hungrily above an old man
Feeding them stale bread from an old dock
On another old dock rode an ancient gas pump
Attached by a long copper line
To a red tank behind a larger cottage
Its’ porch lined with four rocking chairs
Empty as the faces of presidents on Mount Rushmore
The door stood wide open in the warm sun
Seeing me, the old man called out,
“Y’all go inside and sit – l’ll be in shortly”
Inside I found more empty rocking chairs
On a small counter rested a money box asking –Cash Only
There was a refrigerator with a glass door
A space heater and a wall hung with cheap fishing tackle
Another wall was for live bait
With three bins saying
Red worms – crickets – minnows
Hanging from the refrigerator handle
Was an old beer can opener
Swinging from a noose of dirty string
I sat down in a chair near the door
The old man limped in – he didn’t say hi
But remarked, “Saw y’all walking up the lane”
“What brings y’all back here?”
I told him I had seen his sign by the road
And for a couple of years I had meant to come by
He smiled, sat down and began talking
His grandfather built the place in 1937
He was proud that people still come by
“Folks come from two states away
To rent those cottages to go bass fishing
Or hunt ducks in the fall”
“I am retired now,” he said,
“I feed the sea gulls in the winter and make a little money
People are happy I’m still here.”
We sat looking out over the water
At the sea gulls waiting patiently to be fed
I got up to buy a soda
Trying to make conversation, I remarked
“That beer can opener is obsolete; everything today has lids”
He sat there staring silently for a bit
He drawled, “It’s retired now, too
My son hung it there so it won’t be lost
It keeps me company when I am lonely.”
“Do you fish or go boating much?” I asked
He shrugged and told me how he used
To fish and boat all the time with his son
But he hadn’t fished or left the dock since 1986.
We sat looking at the water for a bit more
Still curious I inquired, “Did your son marry and move away?”
He looked down at his hands and replied, “No, in 86
He was out fishing -a speed boat rammed him
After that the water quit calling my name.”
Sadness and longing passed between us
A pontoon boat pulled up to the gas pump
We nodded our good byes
We both got up to go
I hurried for home – the sun was still out
But it felt like rain
(A.E. Black, 03/17/11)
Divine Teachings
16 Apr 2011 Leave a Comment
in Poetry Tags: faith, Poetry, Sunday School teacher
~~~
She speaks to us Sunday mornings with care;
not here without experiencing despair and strife.
Anointed to teach us and share
God’s words about eternal life.
She blesses us with truth and reality;
reminds us of her past filled with meanness and fights.
Yet today she holds her head high with dignity;
her teaching helps to show us the shine of God’s true light.
She offers us the holy word like olive branches;
there is now peace and love within her face.
We are blessed to hear her remembrances
because with them we are shown God’s infinite grace.
by: Joyce M. Rose-Harris © 2007
~~~
Temporary Suspension of Postings
18 Apr 2011 1 Comment
in From The Editor Tags: mother, mourning
On Friday, April 15th my mother unexpectedly passed. Because I was to raised to complete a task eventually April 16 – Issue 8 will be fully posted. I ask for your prayers during this time of grieving.
The Next Issue
02 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: new issue
First, I would like to thank those of you who have sent condolences. I am doing better with each day but I am still sometimes trying to grasp this new reality. My mother was dealing with some medical issues, however, there was nothing that could prepare me for her unexpected death.
From inception May was always dedicated to Mom’s and so that theme will continue. However there will be one post made for May on Sunday, May 8. I am accepting submissions for this issue until Friday, May 6 at 11:59pm.
There are many different mother and child relationships, some like mine strong with others a little rocky. I want to share all opinions & ideas on the interaction of mother & child. So get to writing and make your mama proud.
Looking Back
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: child, life, mom
~~~
Upon moving out of my parents home in September of 1991, I became very appreciative of my mom’s sacrifices. During my childhood I never realized we were in a low-income demographic. As a child I never was deprived of basic necessities such as food, clothing, and shelter. It was only later in adulthood did I learn of that sometimes my mother sacrificed some of her own meals for me.
I grew up during a time when children were not exposed to the adult world with regard to household expenses. It was my job as a child to be just that a child. Learning and having fun were the main things that were required of me. Worrying about late notices and whether we would have gas to cook was not my problem. Even when I was attending the University of Illinois at Chicago and suggested I could go part-time to help with household expenses; my mother gave me a disapproving look and advised “my job was to earn my Bachelors degree”.
Being that I was an only child some may think I was spoiled but quite the contrary. I understood the reality that my parents were far from wealthy. Even with the abundance of school clothes, I received courtesy of my grandmother I still was conscious of this reality. My best memory regarding this is 1976 when I needed a new coat. Due to a very cold winter the only place we found a suitable coat was a specialty teen shop. I glanced the price tag $65; which was a lot in those days and said it was too much. My mom simply replied, “you need a coat”. I was able to wear the coat for three winters.
Finally, I am still in awe of my late mother and all she did for me. I was blessed to be raised in a two parent household. However, my father was sometimes between jobs and my mother would take up the slack to make ends meet. Still the best part of my memories is the love my mom gave me from my birth to day she left this earthly realm. Thank you mommy, I am filled with your love.
~~~
The Day My Mom Died
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: death, mom, orphan
~~~
On April 15, 2011, my life forever changed; this is the day I became an orphan. It may seem odd to some for me to use the term orphan but it best describes how I feel. In researching the word, it defines a child (son or daughter) whose parents are decease. My father died almost 14 years ago on June 15, 1997, which was Father’s Day of that year. Now my mother is also decease.
The events of my mom’s last earthly day are very clear and vivid in my mind. During the morning my mother and I would normally communicate via text message; and during the evening we would chat on the telephone. It always surprised people to discover my mom liked to text; it even surprised me a few years prior when I received her first text. The morning of April 15 was no exception to our morning routine. What I did not know then was the following would be our last communication: me-”Good morning mommy I hope you have a good day. I love you.” and mom-”Love u 2. Good morning have nice day : -)”. This was at 7:04am.
My day started as a normal day it was Friday and I was working to finish up a project. During the day I sent a quick text to my mom but received no response. This was not unusual, since my mom would get busy and not respond to every text. Me and my husband purchased my mom a brand new computer, she loved surfing the internet and needed a new computer. My mom lived in her childhood town, which is an hour and half drive from where I live. I had plans to see her on Saturday. During the previous day we had discussed our individual Friday plans; hers included a BBQ outing and church revival. Because of this I wasn’t overly concerned that I hadn’t heard from her other than the morning text message.
I too had plans that evening and go in fairly late. However, I kept thinking it was strange I hadn’t at least received a text message that she was back home. I called her home and cell phones over and over and began to worry. I called my mom’s childhood friend to check on her. He happens to be the county coroner and asked if he should call the police but I said no. He reported that the house lights were on in the kitchen and her bedroom but there was no answer to the door bell. I became more worried and grabbed my pursed and with my husband headed out to her town. I was hoping for the best but the slow reality was washing over me that the last time I may have talked to my mom was the prior night. I think this is why I didn’t want the police called because I couldn’t take a call telling me my mom was deceased.
Just as reported we found the lights on and oddly the kitchen door was unlocked including the storm door. My mom always kept her house locked up tight. When my husband and I entered the kitchen we saw a turned over kitchen stool and my mom’s compressed oxygen machine was on. Heading toward her bedroom, I braced myself for the worst but I still ran and hugged what was now a lifeless vessel of her body; maybe I thought I could hug life back into her. The moment in time surrounding me discovering her are a blur. I remember saying “mommy, mommy, mommy” over and over and shaking her like I did so many times when I was a little to wake her up. Like a ton of bricks the reality slammed into me and I let out a wailing sound and started beating my husbands chest.
My husband called my mom’s childhood friend. I remember sitting and rubbing my mom’s lifeless legs saying my good-byes and kissing her cheeks and forehead. We always gave each other a kiss on each check and the forehead before we departed as well as leaving with a big hug. We also always told each “I love you”. Just as she did when my dad died, I felt no fear for she never hurt me in life so she wouldn’t in death. Evidence revealed she had started her morning routine including taking her medicine. In addition, she had opened the kitchen blinds and was probably going to get the newspaper, it was still outside in the plastic receptacle. Maybe it was shortness of breath that lead her back to her bedroom, I can only guess at this point.
My mom was dealing with lung and breathing issues after a little over 45 years of smoking. She didn’t have any signs of cancer but breathing issues and recent pneumonia were a strain on her body and her heart. I had so much hope and faith that she would get better but just under 2 months from her 66th birthday her heart stopped. Her face was relaxed and she had a knowing smile on her face; she looked completely tranquil. Her transition appeared to be peaceful, possibly with my father reaching out for her to come through heaven’s gates. Knowing that she was no longer in pain and all the love she filled me with is what gives me peace. It quite simply would be selfish to want my mom to be alive knowing she was suffering.
Finally, I know at some point the full effect of the loss will hit me. I am an only child and use to solitude so I am not use to a lot of people calling and coming into my space; however, it is a blessing to have so many people care about your well-being. As I’ve said, I was filled with love from my mom. We shared with each other and she was one of my best friends. Most importantly, while she was living I let her know she was awesome and how she inspired me. I thanked her many times over way before she got sick for loving me; I am blessed that I have no regrets about the strength of our relationship. So to all who have living parents let them know you love them, also if there are rocky relationships get over yourselves and work it out. There is nothing in the world like a positive relationship between mother and child.
~~~
Three Generations
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: burying child, death, mother
~~~
Three Generations - Mother's Day 2009
In the first article you read about the scrafices of my mom to ensure I had food, shelter, clothing, and an education. In the feature article you will get the idea of the bond that I shared with her. In addition to my bond with my mom, my own mother had a bond with my grandmother, her mother. As an infant, my maternal grandfather had a major accident that caused him to be in a body cast. Due to his near fatal injury, my grandmother had to work. She had recently given birth to my mother; during the mid-1940′s daycare was basically non-existent. My mother was taken to live with my grandmother’s brother, my mom’s uncle and my great-uncle. Eventhough my mother was never legally adopted, my great-uncle and great-aunt loved my mother as their own child. This was such the case that referring to them as great-uncle and great-aunt as well as not granddaddy and grannie seems incorrect.
My mother was raised in a loving home and she was cared for well. She wanted for nothing and excelled in school and life under their care. They sent her to attend Tuskegee University, then Tuskegee Institute in 1962 with three large steamer trunks. A trunk that contained clothing, one for linens, and one for shoes. However, instead of going back to college after summer break, my mother visited her biological parents in Chicago. She decided that she was not going to go back to school.
A strong bond formed between my mother and grandmother. There was the understanding that my grandmother had done what she thought was best at the time. Both had the benefit of not having the difficult years of adolescence; they were two adults who became like sisters. During my youth and some of the rocky periods with my dad, my mother and grandmother were not always speaking to each other. However, over time their relationship regained strength.
Hours after my mother’s death, I was the one with my husband given the heart wrenching responsiblity to tell my grandmother her daughter had died. Over and over, she repeated “my only child” as she weeped and asked God “why”. I too cried but tried to stay strong for my grandmother. I had lost a mother but my grandmother had lost a daughter and her best friend.
We all know that with life eventually comes death. However, no mother wants to bury her child. My mother loved and took care of my grandmother for a number of years. She moved her from Chicago to South Carolina to ensure she received adequate care. Only just a few months ago my grandmother was admitted to a nursing facility because my mother had reached the point where her own health was declining. My mother may have had an idea but me nor my grandmother knew of the severity of my mother’s declined health.
Now, I have been given the responsibility to ensure that my grandmother receives adequate care. I will not have the opportunity to care for my own mother into her elder years. In addition, I often wonder about myself and future care, since, I do not have children. So it seems that the split of my family tree may end with me. I don’t worry about what the future holds, I am just grateful for coming from a strong-line of women.
~~~
Angel Mom
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Poetry Tags: faith, Poetry, Sunday School teacher
~~~
Love lives forever;
it’s energy spreads
wide with wisp
of wings, blowing
breezes over me
like mom’s kisses,
warm happiness washes
over my being.
She is now light,
like energy love’s
power never fades.
With a glance
at her coat
chair, or Bible
I remember, hugs.
Sense of humor
lives too; playing
hide and seek
with me, giggling
as she flies by.
I live and thrive
because she gave
me independent creativitiy.
Wiping away tears,
remembering cloudy days
bring light; rainbows
cannont be formed
without the rain.
by: Joyce M. Rose-Harris © 2011
In memory of my mommy, Betty J. Rose
~~~
Mother’s Day Grace
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: bereaved mothers
~~~
I don’t like to write in “real raw time”. I prefer emotional space, perspective, healing – and control of my emotions. This way, I can write exactly what I want to write, how I want to write it. Sadly, this entry is not one of those times.
Yesterday, May 5, 2011, my son, Joshua and I attended the funeral of Jordan. Jordan is the beloved son of my dear friend Yvette and her husband, Thomas. Jordan was 20 years old – same age as my son and the scores of young folk attending his funeral. Seeing their grieving faces juxtaposed against their youth and bright and shining futures was both heartbreaking and uplifting.
I got the call about Jordan’s death on Easter Sunday morning from a mutual friend, who assumed I already knew. Not believing what I was hearing (surely, Facebook is not ALWAYS right?!), I then called another friend hoping against hope. I then called Yvette. She confirmed the unbelievable.
Yvette often referred to her son as “King” Jordan, because like so many of us proudly do to our sons and daughters, he was spoiled rotten! And by ‘spoiled rotten’, Jordan knew he was loved, cherished, adored, supported in his endeavors, and respected. As her friend and as a mother myself, I know I must honor Yvette as she honored Jordan by spoiling her rotten as well.
So if you know of a mother who has lost her child, (regardless if the child was a 1st trimester miscarriage, a 20 year old like Jordan, or a senior citizen) please do not succumb to inaction as you wonder what to say, how to act, what to do. On this upcoming Mother’s Day – or on any of the other 364 days that follow – take time to spoil this mother. Share the great memories you have of their child. Listen, empathize, sympathize, and support her as she grieves and adapts to what is now the ‘new normal’ without her child. Be compassionate.
Joshua and I have a Mother’s Day tradition of going to the movies together. This year, I will wear my purple rubber bracelet inscribed with Jordan’s name and the expression, ‘Forever in our hearts’. And I will pray what I know: God’s strength will uplift Yvette as His grace comforts her.
~~~
Sometimes
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Poetry Tags: moms, Poetry, sons
~~~
Sometimes, my mom would to sit me down
Next to a stack of ironing
She would go over language lessons while
Pressing out imperfections and wrinkles
This was my pre-school education
Her gift of time
A luxury she never had as a child
She was the eldest of many
So bright – so young – so trapped
With chores to do and piles and piles of ironing
Where did her time go?
Now, her hair is so thin and white
Brittle from gallons of hair spray
Applied every Sunday morning
Before my father would drop her off early
At the back door of the church
Her dress always pressed just right
Only to be covered by her choir robe
But every hair stayed quiet and perfectly in place
Evidence of her propriety and Godly living
While her children would squirm restlessly in a pew
Waiting for their father to shut his eyes during the sermon
So they could play tic tac toe
While praying for the benediction to come mercifully and quick
Last month, she called me asking if I was coming home for Easter
Reminding me I had not driven the 700 miles since Christmas
And telling me three times in three different ways
How it hurts to get on her knees and plant spring flowers
And that my father forgets what he has done and overwatered the daffodils again
Sometimes, she makes me feel like it is my fault he is getting old
I wonder when will be my last time
To sit at their table so she can feed me breakfast
Food that she remembers as my favorite
Food that I now only eat at their table
Where I listen to her tell stories
About her parents and grandparents
Stories of not having much
Stories of losing the farm in the Great Depression
Stories of her father going blind with a large family to feed
Stories of giving hobos a cup of water from the well
In the yard of their little cinder block house on the edge of town near the railroad
Stories of how she met my father during the war
She was only 18 and a bookkeeper at the mill
Stories of how she prayed everyday for him to return whole and alive
To take her away to live happily ever after in Indiana
We drove home this Easter
I ate breakfast at their table, heard the same stories, picked up sticks in the yard
Pulled weeds from her flowers, watched her sing in the church choir
…..and sometimes, I would sit on their couch
Searching for words to describe
My feelings about the time she gifted me
My mind would spin in circles
Like a dog chasing its tail
Trying to find words to sink my teeth into
But a dog never seems to catch its tail
And I never seem to find the words
(A.E.Black, 05/05/11)
~~~
Moving Back Home
08 May 2011 1 Comment
in Poetry Tags: grandmother, Poetry, retiring
~~~
Guess,
I’ll move back home,
Southeast where I came from.
There were Jim Crow laws
in my younger days and hatred
keeping me down. Moved
to New York to be free and dance
at the Savoy. Went on to Baltimore
for better pay, next stop Chicago
for over forty years.
This body and these bones ache
so much in the night, I can’t sleep.
I lay awake at 2:30 am my daughter
visiting in the next room, she doesn’t
hear me cry out in pain. Don’t want
to move from this windy city. It’s been
good to me; retired with a pension
got plenty to support me. Not going
to give away my hard earned money
to assist my living; nursing home
want to give me a stipend a whole
ninety dollars for personal items.
My granddaughter tells me Jim Crow
is gone. But, I know he is just hiding,
not as brazen as when I was her age;
hatred still there too. But what can
this old lady do, can’t live alone
with these aching bones.
Guess,
I’ll move back home.
by: Joyce M. Rose-Harris © 2006
~~~
For Mommy…With Love
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Poetry Tags: mom, Poetry, tribute
~~~
You gave me a childhood
filled with joy and laughter.
Silly giggles on somedays
Monty Python on most Saturdays.
Exploring the vastness of Chicago
with super-transfers in hand on Sundays;
we went everywhere discovering
what the city held for mother and child.
Early you taught me to seek knowledge
by surprising the social worker lady,
when asking about job training;
not merely taking the government dime.
You advanced upward because of curiosity
with a large dose of intelligence;
not afraid to learn and try new technology,
you showed how to thrive and succeed.
Even the strong have weaknesses;
for you it was a package with tabacco
filled death sticks, you stopped
when breathing began to hurt.
Doctors said you had no cancer
merely, COPD but I began to see
it became more difficult to live.
Blessed with time to love you,
I didn’t hesitate to tell you
that I adored and admired you;
and all that you did for me.
We had plans to explore some more.
Your heart decided it was time
for you to explore in heaven.
Now within my dreams I meet you
for silly laughter and Monty Python.
by: Joyce M. Rose-Harris © 2011
~~~
From The Editor – Issue 9 Volume 1
08 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: Issue 9 Vol 1, Mother's Day
~~~
As much as we might want to think we have control, we are always reminded that the world we live in is ever changing. On April 15, 2011 my mother breathed her last breath. Because of our strong relationship and daily communication, I realized after not hearing from her something was definitely wrong. Even though she has been deceased for less than a month, the love she instilled in me is holding me up. There has been moments of extreme sorrow as well as anger but I am dealing with her death day by day.
This issue is a tribute to her memory, where there are a number of articles and poems written by me. In response to a request for submissions, I have received an article and poem. The article “Mother’s Day Grace” reflects on a mother who recently lost her son. And a poem “Sometimes” where a son reflects on recently answering his mother’s request and going home for Easter.
In discussing the mother and child relationship there are those with a good connection and others who may be disconnected from their mother. We all must do what is best for us and only we can know the background of our relationship. For me the background was a strong mother-daughter bond where there was respect and understanding. I miss the daily conversation with my mother but I now talk to her in my dreams. Finally, I wish all mothers a beautiful and blessed Mother’s Day.
~~~
My Daddy
19 Jun 2011 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: dads, Father's Day
~~~
Me and My Daddy
On May 23rd after a long life of almost 91 years my maternal grandmother departed this earthly realm. Having lost my mother in April this really impacted me. So I want everyone to know, slowly I am healing. But now on to the subject at hand.
Today is Father’s Day here in the United States, I am not certain about other countries. And comedians and news commentators alike indicate Father’s Day is a very poor second to Mother’s Day (2nd Sunday in May).
My father after a not so long life as well as 31 years of marriage succumbed to many illnesses and died. For the almost 31 years of life my father was a part of my life. I was raised in a two parent household where my father instilled in me the importance of self-worth.
His primary advice centered around the fact that a man should NEVER hit or abuse a woman. He said even the weakest man is usually stronger than a woman. My father also lived this fact by example always respecting my mom. One of the funniest stories that I have about my father is when my husband came to pick me up for a date. My father was in the process of going to work, he was an armed security guard. While cleaning his gun and putting in bullets, my father asked my then boyfriend “what are your intentions with my daughter?” My then boyfriend now husband smartly answered, “the upmost honorable attentions, sir”.
I do want to state that my father was not perfect and did have issues. But he never allowed anything to lead him to hurt me or my mom. From my dad I garnered a love for music and cooking. He was the BEST grillmaster EVER. I have yet to eat home grilled ribs better than my dads. He also as most men loved sports especially football and Da Chicago Bears.
I did not mention earlier but my daddy breathed his last breath on Sunday, June 15, 1997; it was Father’s Day. I flew in to my hometown and saw my father two hours before he died. So for me today is a day of reflection and remembrance of the man I called daddy.
~~~
Gone Fishing
01 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: gone fishing, life, mourning, recovering
~~~
Gone Fishing
First and foremost, I must thank all of those who have stuck with me. Especially, the followers that stop by to check for new posts. I was in the process of posting the April 16th issue when my world changed. And in honor of my mom I posted a tribute of blogs on May 8th Mother’s Day and Father’s Day got a blip with one post.
If this were a print magazine there is no way I could go hiding out like I have done. I would be held accountable to staff and advertises to keep it together despite my mom’s and grandmom’s deaths and would need to carry on. I very much want to continue the blog with the original format. I am in the process of seeking additional contributors and thinking through the future of the blog, so again I thank you for your patience as I find myself again.
The Author
In a few days I will celebrate my 45th birthday. I often get surprised looks when I mention this because I look much younger than my age. However, my body and life expereiences remind me that yes you are that old. So as I seek to continue to make the future of PaisleyPerspective great, I ask you to send me your ideas. What do you want to see more or less of on the page. The idea formed out of the need to share ideas & opinions but not merely my own so I need your voices and opinions.
Because I need to hold myself accountable there will be a new post on July 16th. I hope to include some video and more visual interest so stay tuned.
Peace & Blessings
~~~
Changes
16 Aug 2011 2 Comments
in From The Editor Tags: change, life
Today, I looked at the calendar and realized it is the 16th of August. So I thought I should shake off cobwebs and write something for my blog. A blog is only as good as the written content contained within it’s pages.
As my work day is wrapping up I realized that I have been very abrupt most of day. The primary reason is that I relocated from one desk to another. This is due in part because of a new employee coming into our department. So like a toddler having to give up their crib to a new sibling, I went into brat mode.
Normally I don’t mind change, actually I often embrace new adventures. But today was not one of those instances. I’ve just pasted my five month mark and was happy in my prior location. Now I sit in a cubicle totally opposite of my prior cube making me feel a little out of sorts.
As I have previously written I am dealing with the death of my mother and grandmother. I have moved at a snails pace to make changes in my mom’s house. I know that this will not make her return but in my mind she is on a long vacation. Change is often hard to deal with especially the permanence of death.
So I’m curious how do you handle change? Am I the only one that gets in a huff if my world is turned a little askew? Honest I want to hear from you. Just write in the comment area.
Remembering 9/11/01 – Testimony
11 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: 9/11, life, Remembering, Testimony, Victoria Lockhart
~~~
Wow, I remember 9/11. I was at the hospital with my mom (now deceased). They were prepping her for surgery and I walked out to the lobby to watch TV. I was looking when the first plane hit Tower 1. The ironic thing is my son was on the way from NY, all phone lines were down, you couldn’t get through. But even sadder was one of our friends, Ms. Victoria Lockhart (an Evangelist, writer and singer) was on the 63rd floor of the 1st Tower. She walked out without a scratch. I’d sent her a poem the Friday before 9/11. A portion of the poem read:” I have heard your prayers, I have seen your tears, I have read the message on the walls of your heart. You will live, you shall not die, because death can’t praise me from the grave.”
Here is the song she wrote about September 11, 2011 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTCoID1JQLs ; it’s titled ‘Testimony!’ Check it out!
Submitted by: Jerlean S. Noble
About The Author: Jerlean S. Noble is the Founder and President of the Columbia Writers Alliance. She is a Christian, a novelist, a poet, and a realist. She believes that writing is healing. Jerlean is also a mother, grandmother, and great grandmother. She writes from her passions of love, pain, and triumph. Jerlean believes in giving back and in being a doer as well as a sayer.
~~~
Remembering 9/11/01 – First Thoughts
11 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: 9/11, life, Remembering
~~~
My first thoughts will probably anger some people:
1. First thought , how tragic & sad for the family members left behind
2. How could Muslims be so savage and delusional
3. What has the world done to create a world that seems so hopeless that
people would do this
4. Then what about Christians killing 6 million Jews or dropping an atomic
bomb on civilian targets in Japan
5. The Kings of Ghana selling 15 million fellow Africans to Europeans for slavery
6. The genocide of 98% of the Native Americans by primarily Europeans, etc…
7. Then what can I do to stop the madness and empower a sense of hope
8. Lastly, I do not think of memorials and observances are the answer,
because often they entail an element of hate for the other side and we have
too much of that already.
I wish I could write something beautiful and uplifting, but this
rightness and wrongness about the two sides fills me with a mixture of
anger, depression, self-loathing and self-doubt.
Peace & Blessings
Written by: Al Black
About The Author: A.E. Black is a poet, writer, and strong supporter of the arts. He hails from Indiana and now lives in South Carolina with his beloved wife. Al Bee as he’s known to most is the creator and host of “Mind Gravy Poetry Venue: Poems sliced thin drenched in gravy of dreams forgot.” Al features a poet and musical artist as well as an open mic session; interested artist can email him at albeemindgravy@gmail.com.
~~~
Remembering 9/11/01 – A Tear
11 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Poetry Tags: 9/11, life, Poetry
~~~
Shedding a tear honors
those lives lost in tragedy.
Whether via airplane crash,
building collapse or bomb blast
on battle fields filled with mines
each fallen civilian or soldier
deserves to be remembered.
Let your tears fall freely
while standing on domestic
or foreign soil; do not allow
their deaths to be in vain.
Hug a fellow citizen
of the red, white, and blue;
colors that fly and wave strong
with 50 stars and 13 stripes.
We divide ourselves too often
to our own demise; yet the world
sees us as one land. Together
we must stand united
indivisible as one nation
under God.
Written by: Joyce M. Rose-Harris
~~~
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Remembering 9/11/01 – Mixed Emotions
11 Sep 2011 1 Comment
in Feature Tags: 9/11, life, Remembering
~~~
When reading this title most will wonder, how could I have mixed emotions? Yes, September 11, 2001 was a tragic day but for me it involved joy amid the sorrow. Let me start at the beginning of that day. My day started early, driving to then named Richland Memorial Hospital in Columbia, SC. My grandfather was scheduled for surgery to remove a subdural hematoma better known as a blood clot on his brain. This is a tricky surgery for any person but my grandfather was 92 years old.
My husband and I prayed with my grandfather a man of great faith. The blood clot was the result of an auto accident a few weeks earlier. The doctor said that my grandfather should make it through with no problems but his age was a major factor. I remember saying another prayer leaving him in God’s hands as they wheeled him off to surgery. The surgery was to take about two hours, however, hospital staff advised us less than that time that all had gone well, this was approximately at 8:00a.m. EDT.
Happily my husband and I left the recovery area and went up to my grandfather’s hospital room to await his return. We were watching the Today Show when it switched to pictures of the World Trade Center – Tower 1 after the first plane hit. My husband immediately recognized the WTC but I couldn’t believe it when he said “that’s the World Trade Center” in disbelief. We watched together soon after when the second plane hit Tower 2, it is very surreal even to this day. We saw with our own eyes the plane flying into the building and felt a sinking feeling. All the joy we had earlier felt was replaced with fear and confusion.
While we sat trying to figure out what was happening, listening to very confused and scared reporters a nurse ran into the hallway screaming, “they’ve bombed the Pentagon!” I knew without fully understanding what was happening that the world as we knew it had changed forever. My mother was in the process of moving to South Carolina to help take care of my grandfather. She had just given notice to her employer at Chicago O’Hare International Airport the evening before. She clocked out of work at approximately 6:00a.m. EDT that morning, not knowing the airport would be shut down soon that morning.
So you see for me that day was filled with a bevy of emotions. There was joy for my grandfather having a successful surgery and my mom finally being able retire. But then the fear and uncertainty of seeing the WTC towers 1 and 2 collapse into bent steel and rubble. Feelings of empathy, while seeing fear and confusions on peoples faces as they walked and ran to try to make trains and ferry boats or walk the miles across the Brooklyn bridge.
I thought of all the other events in history where innocent people lost their lives. During the Middle Passage with ships filled with bound Africans, the Holocaust, the bombing of Pearl Harbor the subsequent rounding up of Japanese citizens and the ultimate atomic bomb dropping on Japan. The founding of this country with the killing of countless native North Americans just as Al Black mentioned.
U.S. citizens and humans in general are not without our own terrible acts. But this act seemed so horrific because of the extent of people killed in less than one hour. People of all races, creeds, and colors that were just trying to live their lives. I thought of the many children some without both parents and how they would make it through the rest of their lives. In addition, I thought about the countless firefighters, police, and paramedics known now as “first responders” whose lives were taken doing what they loved and were called to do.
Life is not easy. Tragedy will surface if you live long enough. Individually we cannot control planned or random acts of hate but we can control how we respond. We can take time to remember that there are other instances in our history where innocent life has been lost. Moreover, we can take time to understand those who may have different beliefs than our own. Finally, we can remain stubborn to our own ways or we can learn to respect each others differences.
~~~
Remembering 9/11/01 – Mind Blowing
11 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Poetry Tags: 9/11, life, Poetry, Remembering
~~~
Did you hear?
A plane just hit a building.
Where? NYC.
Umm, How’d that happen?
yea?
The plane was obviously flying way to low.
WOW.
Hey. You guys here?
A plane just flew into a building!
Yea. We heard a few minutes ago.
NO! This just happened!
WHAT!? another plane hit a building?
Huh? I’m confused?
Me too?
Does anyone have a desk radio?
Ok Shush everyone!
Gasp, WHAT! O MY GOD, O MY GOD
Lord have mercy
Huh?
A possible terrorist attack?!
Written by: Billye R Hardy
About The Author: I have been writing poetry, songwriting and short stories since the 1990′s. I have been a member of ASCAP since 1999. I’ve enjoyed having some of my music and poems performed by local Chicago Artist. My goal is to begin writing music on a larger scale as well as completing a few writing projects. I desire to become a published author within the near future.
Currently working on a screenplay and collection of poems and short stories.
~~~
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From The Editor – Issue 10 Volume 1
11 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: 9/11, From The Editor, life, Remembering
~~~
Sometimes we have to shed our own grief and take time to reflect. Tragedy happens every day in some part of this vast planet we call Earth. There are people murdered, children abused, elderly who must eat pet food. There are women abused put into sex slave labor and battles being fought. Quite simply life is tough and to get through it without any bad thing happening is very unlikely.
However, when tragedy does happen whether man made or via natural disasters we are always reminded that we are fragile as well as part of something bigger than ourselves. Moreover, when disasters are caused by man we always want to know the reason for the act. For many years it was known that there is much hate towards the western world as others call the United States but it was most evident when the events of September 11, 2001 (9/11) just before 9:00a.m on a clear day in New York city.
The events of 9/11 changed not only our country but the way the world functioned. There was a whole new division of national security created called Homeland Security as well as a terrorist alert system. Security at airports across the world changed and seeing your loved ones off on a commercial airplane was to be no more.
This issue includes remembrances from those who have contributed blogs or poems to PaisleyPerspective in the past. Through poetry and snapshots remembrances of the day are shared with you. Let us know what and how the events of ten years ago impacted you.
~~~
Remembering 9/11/01 – Judgement
11 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Poetry Tags: 9/11, life, Poetry, Remembering
~~~
Jihad they call it.
Justice is how we respond.
God and Allah know the difference;
and will judge the same.
Written by: Mallori Scott
~~~
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Remembering 9/11/01 – Seeking Peace
11 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: 9/11, life, mourning, Remembering
~~~
As I watch the ceremonies and news stories remembering September 11, 2001, I am solemn. In 2003 I lost my father and little sister within two months of each other; to make matters worst, my mother was very sick during the same time. My family and I thought she was going to be added to the list. I was on edge. I yelled at my supervisor so bad she told me to take some days off. I had to get out. Out for me was out of the city of Chicago. I searched the internet; and found an “I love New York” sale. I booked a flight on ATA for the next afternoon and booked a hotel on hotels.com.
On the airplane, I was still wound up…still angry. I left without calling my family. I later called my sisters, my oldest sister Rita said, “OK” but my next oldest sister Yvette expressed her concern because I was going to “a dangerous city by myself.” Yatta yatta Yatta, I advised, “I will call when I get there.” When I was trying to find my hotel in midtown, I walked past Studio 57 and smiled. It reflected a time of heightened senses and freedom. My room contained a single bed and was very small. The window was messed up and all I could hear was the loud noise of the city shuffle. I just laughed.
As I walked the city streets of New York City, I felt invisible. I watched people whirl by, cars blowing their horns, city vehicles cutting you off, everyone just going about their business. I felt like I couldn’t touch it because I did not exist. I was standing in the midst of chaos and I was still stressed. Maybe this was a mistake coming here.
The next day, I decided to tour the city. I’d been to the city before but it was dictated by someone else’s agenda. I walked. I went to Harlem looking for Bill Clinton, walked through Central Park, Times Square, went to the top of the Empire State Building, the Garment District, walked through Chelsea, Gramercy, Greenwich Village, Soho, Little Italy, upset that the Tribeca film festival started after I would leave, and Chinatown.
I walked and then all of a sudden it was calm. The noise was hushed; something happened. I turned to my left and saw Wall Street and to my right, there it was…..the former site of the World Trade Center. As I looked at the memorial wall, the air in my lungs tightened and I felt something spiraling through my body to my head. I felt the quiet, the reverence, the peace. At that moment, I knew why I came to New York City.
I came to New York City to be reminded that people lost their lives, not because they neglected themselves and fell to illness but through an act of violence. Their families didn’t have to time to prepare for their deaths as I did. I came to New York City to be grateful. I was given time. All my anger and stress left me. I prayed at the wall. As I began to walk, my spirit was quiet. I ended my journey in Battery Park. As I sat on a bench looking at the Statute of Liberty, I said a prayer of gratitude. I sat watching the sunset give way to the night realizing it was time. I could go home. I boarded the train back to my hotel in silence. I found peace in New York City.
Written by: Michelle Jonet
About the Author: Michelle Jonet lives in Chicago, where she works in the health care industry. She is active in various organizations with the goal to leave this world a little better than she found it.
~~~
A Paisley Perspective
01 Oct 2011 1 Comment
in General Article Tags: life, opinion, perspective
~~~
Recently in a Facebook post I stated that “Fear is a controllable condition. Don’t let fear dictate your future”. Those of you who’ve followed PaisleyPerspective know that it was created in part because of me losing my job last year. I have subsequently become employed at a prominent software company, however, during my time of unemployment I was able to remember what I wanted to be when I grew up. My desire at the age of 10 was to become a writer not as much a journalist but a writer of fiction. Somewhere along the journey of life, I lost my focus.
We all must face some form of uncertainty and fear oftentimes stops us from pursuing our dreams. Fear of failure is what hinders us the most. However, unless we try to do what we desire we will never know if it is possible. It has been said time and time again that you fail if you do not try. I love to write and I love to share my opinion on many issues, so I decided in October 2010 that I wanted to share my thoughts on a large scale. PaisleyPerspective is the product of an unemployed woman who wanted to share opinions and ideas about everything under the sun.
My next focus is to increase the posting frequency for PaisleyPerspective to weekly in lieu of bi-monthly. This may mean less content per post but there will still be a focus on providing interesting content. Those who have followed my life via the various blog posts know that I am still healing from my mother’s and grandmother’s deaths. I loved them dearly and they were part of my motivation for much of what I did in life. But now I must take all that they taught me and move forward through life with the energy of their love.
The longer we live, we definitely will be thrown unexpected situations, yet it is how we respond to the unknown that defines our character. Sure we may want to climb under a rock and hide on some days but we must live even when times gets tough. So as I move forward and continue to live, I will keep sharing my opinions and ideas through the pages of PaisleyPerspective.com. Thank you for stopping by and I will talk to you next week.
~~~
Fearlessly Moving Forward
08 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: Apple, death, fear, iPad, iPhone, life, Steve Jobs
~~~
On October 5th while surfing the web on my iPad, I received a notification pop-up that informed me the news of Steve Jobs death. It simply said, “Steve Jobs died today”. I literally stopped and just stared at the screen for what seemed like eons. Then I composed myself and went to the Apple website to find out if it were true, sadly it was not a hoax. Steve Jobs demonstrated what is right with the United States in the fact that we are a country filled with innovators. He was born to unwed grad students and then adopted by a working class family. He did what we all think is the thing to do, which was to enroll in college. He soon realized it was not where he was meant to be, his genius was bigger than the university walls.
I believe soon the history books will be re-written to include Steve Jobs mark on modern technology. He is right up there with the Wright Brothers, Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, & Albert Einstein, etc., etc., etc. He was a thinker who let his mind and passion lead him to create a device that has literally changed modern day society. The foundation of the personal computer was developed in his mind, which then expanded from a motherboard into devices that I cannot phantom living without. For me the love affair began with a simple 2-gigabyte nano iPod, where I was able to store more music than I ever imagined. I don’t know what I would do without my iPhone 4 with more than150 apps. I use it each day including listening to music, which helps me get through the workday. Then there is my MacBook Pro that saved me when my PC laptop crashed while I was creating the first blog pages of PaisleyPerspective. Most recently, there is the iPad that helps me not have to carry my beloved MBP everywhere.
Some individuals commented that the technology developed by Steve Jobs put many non-tech savvy businesses out of business. But I say he has shown what a dream and passion can become. My favorite words spoken by Jobs while giving Stanford University’s 2005 Commencement address are “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life…Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
In conclusion, I am not professing that Steve Jobs was perfect, he himself revealed that was far from the truth. However, what he was able to do was use fear to his advantage; in addition to the big boys of the time IBM and Hewlett-Packard underestimation of innovation, to bring home computing to the masses. When we do not have a previously conceived idea of what we want to do, we oftentimes find success comes our way. Discovery is something that happens unexpectedly, not one of us realized we needed a home computer or the devices created in the last decade but we now know that we are happy to have the technology of the iPhone, iPod, and iPad. My belief is that there will always be innovators in the wings ready to bring us new technology. They are the ones like Steve Jobs who will continue to help the world fearlessly move forward into the future.
~~~
It’s Only A Dream…
15 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: Children, Dreams, family, life
~~~
When I was a small child old, I had a recurring dream. The dream could have been considered a nightmare, however, early on my mom helped to squash my fear and anxiety. My dream involved a witch wearing all black with the typical pointy black hat; she lived in a big black kettle that sat inside of a red brick fireplace. The floor in the room where all of this occurred had a black and white checkerboard pattern linoleum floor. The witch in the dream chased me; the dream was without sound. After having the dream a few times I told my mom. My mom gave me advice on how not to be afraid during my dream; she said, “Remember it’s only a dream”. After the advice from my mom upon recurrence of the witch returning in my dreams, I said these words to her, “You’re not real, this is only a dream.”
It has been over four decades since I faced the fear of the witch dream. And yes, I still remember the details very clearly. I don’t recall everyday of my life in such detail but certain life changing moments I put into a mental file cabinet. Whether the event is good or bad I am able to take a lesson from it. From overcoming my witch dream, I learned how to overcome scary situations that exist in the conscious world. When something unpleasant or scary occurs to me, I remember that it is only one situation and it will pass just like a my childhood scary dreams.
We do not have absolute control over what happens to us but we can control our response to the good and bad that comes our way. Fear usually comes from not knowing what might happen during a situation, which is the case with the number one fear of public speaking. Yes that is correct public speaking still is the number one fear of most people, the second is the fear of death. With a lot of practice and encouragement via my local Toastmasters club I was able to fight my longstanding fear of public speaking.
Looking back at my two biggest fears my initial fear being the witch dream and second public speaking, I determined there was a common thread overcoming both fears. I acknowledged early during each case that I was afraid then secondly I sought help to reduce my fears. It wasn’t easy but after acknowledging my fears I was able to conquer them both. I still have scary dreams and I get nervous speaking in public but both former fears don’t control me. In conquering fear, we must first admit our fear, even if we may not always understand the reason why we are afraid. Then we need to seek assistance from family, friends, or a professional individual/group. Facing fear head on is the only way to conquer its power over us.
~~~
Racism
22 Oct 2011 1 Comment
in Feature Tags: 1970's, family, life, Racism
~~~
During the early 1970′s, approximately at the age of 4 while standing at the bus stop with my mom during a blustery Chicago winter day, I made a new friend. When you are 4 years old it is easy to make friends. My new friend had wispy blond hair and big round blue eyes that were in contrast to my thick black tight curl pattern and big brown eyes. We both wore winter wool coats with a red hat, mittens, and scarves wrapped around our necks covering our mouth and nose for warmth. Her mom was tall and lanky like mine and I recall them talking about the weather, there may have been more to their conversation but I don’t recall. While we stood and waited what seemed like forever for the bus to arrive, my friend and I danced around hugging and jumping to stay warm. It never occurred to her or to me that we were different races, quite simply 4 year olds don’t identify with race. Eventually the bus arrived and later each mother and daughter went our separate ways but not without a big last hug.
When I was 6 years old attending a family cookout in one of the local Chicago Forest Perseveres, I met a new friend who had come to the event with his parents. Like my bus stop friend his name eludes me but he had red hair and greenish/brown eyes. He and I were the closest in age and quickly began to play, run, and jump around the trees. I was truly a tomboy and liked to try to climb trees even though I was not very good at it. We spent most of the day together, since for whatever reason the other boys would not play with him. Just as with my long ago bus stop friend our differences didn’t matter to me. My little friend was someone with whom I could play. Still today, I am teased about my little boyfriend when looking at old home movies, since some of that adventure was captured on 8mm film.
Mommy and Me
At the age of 8 during a visit to a fairly well off family who lived in the Northern Chicago suburbs, I became aware that to some I was different. My parents were separated for a brief period and on alternate weekends I spent time with my dad. One weekend he took me for a visit to meet his lady friend who worked as a nanny and housekeeper. She was like Alice from ‘The Brady Bunch’ only she looked a lot more like Florida Evans from ‘Good Times’. The family consisted of two boys one my age, one slightly older and a sister a little younger. We played in their very large home even in today’s standards with a front and back staircase from which one of the boys spit into my head. Immediately, I proceeded to go and rat him out but was talked out it. I know that had I done so my dad might be in jail to this day for murder, I later learned he didn’t tolerate spitting especially if it came to his daughter.
We arrived on a Saturday and stayed until Sunday. Early on Sunday morning the little girl and me were playing on the massive front lawn waiting for the children’s grandfather to arrive. Across the street was a church, I don’t recall the denomination. I was busy playing with my doll that was a modern day version of Raggedy Ann, only it was made out of denim for the body with yellow yarn for the hair. Only when the little girl tapped me on the shoulder and said that maybe I should wait inside the house did I notice a group of people across the street. I looked up to see what looked like a sea of pink faces looking at my out of place brown face. At the age of 8, I didn’t understand that people were categorized into races, to me there were pink people, tan people, brown people, etc. Just like when the little boy spit on me, I said, “I will tell my daddy he will get them all for looking mean at me.” Eventually the church bell ringing got their attention and they all went inside the church but that visit is my first introduction to the concept of races and racism.
My associate and me (over the years my mom explained everybody wasn’t necessarily a fast friend) went inside the house. I immediately told my daddy what occurred and said, “I know he would have beat them all up for looking mean at me. ” My dad just gave me a hug and said it would be okay, he didn’t explain why a part of a church congregation stopped in their tracks to stare at me. Quite simply, I was probably one of the few black children they saw having the nerve to play out in the open. Later that morning the grandfather of the family came and took us to breakfast, I initially didn’t think I would be included and went to play by myself. However, the grandfather of the family was a kind person and explained to me about the fact some people saw skin color rather than the heart of a person. I learned that weekend that to the world there are different races but I also learned there are good people who don’t focus on race.
Both of my parents are now decease but they gave me a strong foundation of love that enables me not to focus on the skin tone of others or myself. They taught me that intolerance of others was not acceptable even though from time to time my dad would use the phrase “those people”. I never dated anyone that was non-black, so I didn’t truly test the tolerance of my parents for other races but I am sure if I had they would have been welcomed with open arms. Today looking at the political front it brings questions to my mind if President Obama being bi-racial is cause for some of the extreme hate thrown his way, especially by those from southern states. In addition looking at the struggle to get decent black and other ethnic programming on television makes me believe racism is still very much alive.
In summary, early on I learned that there are people who don’t focus on the color of my skin; however, there is a vast majority that do see a difference based on skin tone. Sadly it took a group of people walking to church to strip away my innocence at 8 years old and introduce me to the concept of racism. Today, I might have different beliefs about racism had the grandfather of the children I visited not been so kind and understanding. He could have easily not taken me to breakfast or treated me differently but he treated me with true Christian and human respect. Sadly there will probably always be some form of racism or sexism in this world; we humans are good at finding some type of ‘ism’ to divide us. Finally, maybe if we remember our humanism we will focus less on the other ‘isms’.
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Interview: Musician Kid Static
29 Oct 2011 2 Comments
in Feature Tags: Interview, Kid Static, Music, Video
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Musician Kid Static
On October 1st Kid Static released a new music video for the song ‘When My Soul Goes Down’. After viewing the video I thought it would be interesting to learn a little more about the man behind the name and the music. PaisleyPerspective is pleased that in between working on his second album and preparing for a Halloween weekend performance in Chicago, Kid Static was able to do a little Q & A. So here are a few questions and answers as well as the video in honor of this the month of creaks and bumps in the night.
Paisley: Where did your interest in pursuing music as a career originate; did you study music in college?
Kid Static: I actually went to school for Architecture. Music has always been something I did but I didn’t realize you can realistically pursue it as a career until well after college. I wanted to do it because I love it.
Paisley: Were you influenced by old records & tapes? Which ones?
Kid Static: I would say I’m more influenced by styles. Recently, I’ve been on a huge blues and bass kick. I’m really into repeating bass lines and songs that hypnotize you into a head nodding state.
Paisley: You recently announced the upcoming release of your second solo album. Are you no longer performing with beats maker Yea Big?
Kid Static: Yea Big is family and we will always work together in some capacity. We still perform together but I think the days of constant touring and exposure of that project are on hold. We’re sticking to one-off shows and festivals for a while. I’ve always written music on my own and this is just a natural progression of that.
Paisley: How long have you been performing? Do you get nervous prior to a performance and if so how do you calm your nerves?
Kid Static: Performing has been a part of my life since I was really young. From doing plays in elementary school, to chorus recitals, to eventually touring and performing my own material, I’m pretty comfortable on stage.
Paisley: I have heard your dad is musical. Would you ever want to perform with him or have him play on a recording?
Kid Static: That has actually never crossed my mind. It’s definitely something to think about though. Keep an eye out, it might happen.
Paisley: Who are your favorite musicians to listen to and whom do you admire most in the music industry?
Kid Static: The answer to this question changes almost daily. Recently, I’ve been listening to a lot of my friends’ music. Watching someone you started writing with a while ago progress and constantly get better is an awesome thing. I admire those in the industry who have the guts to buck the trends and fight against their creativity being stamped out by record companies. That big money backing you can be a really attractive prospect, but often it comes at the cost of someone who’s priority is sales making creative decisions on your projects. People who keep that urge to be different and do their own thing despite that are my favorites.
Paisley: October 1st your video for the song ‘When My Soul Goes Down’ was released; the video has an edge. Who developed the video concept?
Kid Static: The concept was mine. The team at Antler who helped shoot and direct worked with me to further flesh it out and work out the shots.
Paisley: What made you move to California?
Kid Static: I knew a lot of artists out here who wanted to work with me. It was a choice between LA and NY. I knew more people in LA. Also, it’s not completely horrible being away from Chicago winters for a while.
Paisley: What locations around the planet have you performed?
Kid Static: I’ve been playing music seriously since 2006. In that time I have played over 500 shows in hundreds of different venues worldwide.
Paisley: Do you fear not being successful and if so do you have a specific timeline for getting out of the music business?
Kid Static: Don’t get me wrong, I strive to be the best at what I do, but the word success has a lot of meanings. Music has shown me the world. I’ve made more friends than I ever would have otherwise. People across the globe have heard songs that I wrote in the confines of my living room. I’ve played festivals in front of thousands of people. I’ve met superstars and had the chance to record in some of the nicest studios in existence. I’ve already found success. If this is all I get, I’m perfectly happy with that.
Paisley: When will your second solo album be released?
Kid Static: Spring 2012.
Paisley: Where can we find information about performances and tour dates?
Kid Static: On my website (http://www.kidstatic.com) and Twitter is the most up to date (@kidstatic)
Check out the video that inspired this interview.
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Honesty
05 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: Honesty, life, opinion, Truth
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We all have heard the term “honesty is the best policy”. However, we also know that the majority of us have said an untruth or plain lie at some point. Whether during childhood when caught being disobedient or a ‘little white lie’, we have all said something that isn’t completely true. There might be someone reading this thinking that I have never told a lie, well if that is the case I applaud you and suggest submitting your name for sainthood.
Follow the Sign
Personally, I prefer to be honest and speak the truth; it is definitely easier to remember the truth rather than a lie. The truth is constant and the details around a truth don’t change. However, if you ask three people who have witnessed an event, you will probably get three versions of what they saw or heard. So one’s truth is relative to what you see, hear, or retain and then recall.
Truth is often bent to become a strange form of reality, just look at the new television genre called ‘reality television’ for the concept of bent reality. Some of the first reality TV goes back to early game shows where answers were planted and reality was distorted. Another example is the televised wrestling industry, where there is much staging of disagreements and wrestling matches for entertainment purposes.
Within our court systems we hope that truth will always emerge, however the idea with the U.S. courts is that each person is innocent until proven guilty. However, in the British court system you are guilty until proven innocent. One would think that truth within the court system is needed but truth is not always sought but the idea of doubt is what is often considered in a court of law. In the U.S. court system if you cannot say without doubt that a person is guilty then they are set free.
Our truth telling ability is tested daily, especially when we are faced with situations that might be made worse by blatant honesty. An example would be someone wearing an outfit that is ill-fitting or possibly just plain ugly to some. In this instance, the idea of beauty being in the eye of the beholder is demonstrated; literally one persons truth can be another person’s fiction.
The idea for setting the PaisleyPerspective theme as truth for November stems from the history of the Thanksgiving holiday and its foundation. Among many of my friends and associates we consider this holiday as ‘Takesgiving Day‘ making reference to the idea of Christopher Columbus and subsequent explorers and settlers as individuals who took land that quite simple belonged to the indigenousness people of the North American continent. We all have some form of guilt with regard to certain facts in history that we sweep away and block out painful reality. Initially, the idea was to set up treaties with the head of various tribes but in the end Native American’s have been herded onto reservations; and just recently allowed through means of the gaming industry to regain any wealth or substance.
Some will wonder why I haven’t mentioned the political arena or current news media, to be honest I think that subject is due it’s own blog post. Possibly that will come later this month.
In summary, reality is relative based on the person or situation that is referred to. This doesn’t mean that it is okay to bend truth to what we think it should be but we must be honest about it. Quite simply the idea of honesty is what drives truth. Remembering that untruth or lies primarily are generated by not remaining honest; still that doesn’t mean that all things done with honest earnest are steeped in truth. Finally, if you went around for a week saying everything with blatant truth you might have fewer friends than at the start. I do believe that above all things it is best to be honest but we should always remember truth can be different from one person to the next.
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“Have you ever wondered why…?”
06 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: Andy Rooney, life, News, opinion
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I would be remised not to say something about the late Andy Rooney, especially with this month’s theme being ‘truth’; because no matter what you think Rooney spoke truth as he saw it.
Andy Rooney
Tag phrases are often associated with news personnel such as “Have you ever wondered why ___________?”, words spoken during Rooney’s commentary on the ’60 Minutes’ CBS news program from 1978 – October 2011. One of the commentaries he asked, “Have you ever wondered why there is cotton in over the counter medicine bottles?” Or most recently before retiring trying to figure out whether the new larger fast food ketchup containers are better. There were also more serious situations mainly during the Oklahoma City bombing as well as discussing events of September 11, 2001. He spoke heatedly about the hatefulness of people who would place a bomb under a daycare center and subsequently purposely fly an airplane into buildings.
It is hard to remember now that there have been some controversial statements regarding homosexuals or racial issues in relation to Native Americans and Hispanic athletes made by Rooney. What is lost is that during the 1940’s he was arrested for riding in the back of a public bus in protest to the laws of the time. Yes that is correct the law prohibited non-blacks from riding in the back of a bus as well as blacks from riding in the front of the bus. In addition, he indicated his pride in living in a country where a black man was elected as President on his merit and the fact that he was the better candidate.
For me Rooney, was someone who looked like a disheveled professor that spouted opinions on various subject matter. He did it with such ease and dry humor you forgot that he was a dedicated news professional. Above all you can say that Rooney spoke his truth, the things he thought and often that we the viewer thought he said. Even though he retired in October of this year, it always seemed that he might drop in from time to time and sprout some wisdom. He was very much the cherry on top of the Sunday evening news program ’60 minutes’ and sent us into the workweek with a laugh and something on which to ponder. Thank you Andy Rooney for always speaking your truth.
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Procrastination
14 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: inspiration, life, Procrastination
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Truth be told we all have a characteristic or simply a trait that we want to change. It may be related to our physical appearance or behavior. As for me that one thing that I am not proud of is my tendency to procrastinate. Yes, my name is Joyce and I am a procrastinator. I know I am not alone, raise your hand if you too wait for the last minute to do things that you planned to do days ago.
Seems like such a simple thing to plan out something and then follow through with completing said task(s). With this month’s theme centering around ‘truth’ I decided that it was important for me to speak on something that I do or don’t do with honesty. Today it became clear to me when I realized that I had not posted anything on PaisleyPerspective this past Saturday.
I could use the excuse that my Saturday was filled with many events but that quite simply is a poor excuse. We all have things that fill our days and nights but we must take time to follow through on our tasks. It is so easy to say my calendar is jam-packed but I am the person that kept saying yes when asked “will you do…?”.
So whether you are a parent or free to be active in various organizations you must remember not to let things be forgotten such as posting a blog on schedule. Recently, I was motivated to take time to finish a project I started some time ago. The best person to control what happens in your world is you. Yes, I know we can’t control every detail of our lives but we definitely can impact the majority of our world.
Finally, in less than two months we will enter into a new year. Across the globe the New Year brings with it resolutions to lose weight, become organized, finish a degree, etc. There is no need to wait until the New Year to make those resolutions you can start today. Go to the mirror and make a promise to yourself to do better at whatever it is you need to improve and check in every morning when you’re brushing your teeth. Good luck on becoming a better you.
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Interview: Al Black – Poet & Activist
19 Nov 2011 7 Comments
in Feature Tags: al black, Interview, life, opinion, Poetry
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One of the goals of PaisleyPerspective is to share the opinions & ideas of others. A recent Q&A with Al Black creator behind the Columbia, SC poetry venue ‘Mind Gravy’ brought about some interesting discussion. Al gives open and honest opinions about living in South Carolina including his thoughts about the Confederate flag that is on State House grounds as well as activism in his home state of Indiana. I know that this Q&A will raise some eyebrows and I hope start open and honest dialogue.
This is not the first time Al Black’s name has graced the PaislyPerspective blog, he has provided us with poetry in the past. You can find his poetic verses by selecting poetry under the category list. In an upcoming post you can hear Al Black in his own words reading two poems at his ‘Mind Gravy’ poetry venue. You can also check out the ‘Mind Gravy’ page on Facebook.
Al Black
Paisley: So tell me, how does a Hoosier end up living in South Carolina?
Al Black: After our four kids got older my wife, Carol, returned to school in her late 40’s; she received her doctorate in Sociology from Purdue University at age 55 in 2008. She deserved her own career so she became a professor at Newberry College and I closed my business in Indianapolis and joyfully followed. I am now the dashing trophy husband and a Hoosier in the Land of Cotton.
Paisley: What are some of the main differences you’ve noticed between Indiana & South Carolina with regard to the overall society?
Al Black: The weather first of all – I do not miss snow and cold.
Socially the ‘Good ‘ol Boy’ network is entrenched here in the Deep South. Things are more relaxed – which can be good, but it also means issues are tolerated that would never be tolerated up North. Example: Black folks and most White folks up North would never tolerate that hateful Civil War flag be flying nor would the racial agitator, Wade Hampton, be still sitting on a statue of a horse as a show of white dominance on the State House lawn. I believe 100% of Black folks and the majority of White folks in
South Carolina are disgusted with this, but it is why it is tolerated I don’t know.
Here in the South being polite is ingrained in the culture and it took awhile for me to know when I was being dismissed or welcomed. Overall, we are happy here and making many friends and social contacts
Paisley: You have a blog ‘HoosierInTheLandOfCotton’ What type of topics do you primarily write about?
Al Black: I don’t post often enough. I started writing this when I first moved here and felt like such a fish out of water; as I become more involved in community I post less often. Mostly, I post my observations as a Hoosier in the Land of Cotton and an occasional poem. Prior to blogging I never shared my poems in writings – so moving here and becoming a fish on dry land is a good thing.
Paisley: What is your opinion regarding flying the Confederate flag on the grounds of the SC State House?
Al Black: First all the those who first unfurled this rag above the State House in the 60’s in response to the ending of Jim Crow and segregation are so ignorant that they don’t even know that this is not the Confederate flag, but that it is the Army of Virginia’s battle flag. So claims of honoring South Carolina’s Confederate soldiers with a Virginia battle flag is erroneous and an insult to the whole concept of ‘State’s Rights.’ I could go on and on, but to no avail – I am working on a 3 act play using Wade Hampton’s own words that I hope to stage in a year or so. I using his own words as dialogue, because staging the truth will have backlash- especially when I close the play with a surprise ending regarding the Confederate flag.
Paisley: What is your opinion of the current South Carolina governor?
Al Black: If I have nothing good to say I try to be silent – I have nothing to say about the governor.
Paisley: You have a poetry venue named ‘Mind Gravy’. How did you come about the name?
Al Black: When I was starting to put this venue together I needed a catchy name and I had just written a short poem about waking up with new lines for poetry being revealed in my dreams, “…..poems sliced thin drenched in gravy of dreams forgot.” Hence. I named it Mind Gravy.
Paisley: What is the purpose of ‘Mind Gravy’ and what type of poetry or other talent do you highlight? Also when does ‘Mind Gravy’ take place and is there a website? I do not have a website;
Al Black: Originally, I was seeking a small group (8-10) who would get together regularly and share and discuss poetry in a workshop atmosphere so we could work on our craft together – a closed group strongly committed to regular attendance – then I realized that there was no venue for poetry except at a local bar and it was primarily for performance and slam poets. I have a knack for organizing so I decided that starting a venue would be a wonderful service and adventure.
Mind Gravy is every Wednesday from 8-10 PM and is presently held at the Tapp’s Arts Center; I purposely host Mind Gravy at locations that are not a bar, because I want to encourage participation & attendance of the under 21 crowd – so they have a place to come for creative expression.
I am thinking of doing a Mind Gravy blog, but I do not want to start a blog and not post regularly. I think in the near future I will start a blog.
I believe all creativity streams from God through what Christians often call the Holy Spirit. We reflect this creative energy much like a mirror reflects the rays that stream from the sun. The diversity of expression is a not a condition of the Holy Spirit, but rather is dependent upon the type and amount of dross and worldliness that clouds the mirror of our hearts. In a sense Mind Gravy is a worship service.
The main focus of Mind Gravy is poetry, but I want to encourage all creative expressions. We start with a guest musician who does original music, we follow with featured poet and then open mic for poets and musicians. We have occasionally had dancers and visual artists(painters) participate, as well.
I would say 60% of our poets are page poets, but I encourage and feature slam, performance, dub, etc…..I do not like that the different forms of poetic expression do not mix and often they diss on the other forms of poetry. We also try to really keep the musical expression varied and mixed. Mind Gravy tries to encourage the acceptance of the diverse range of creative expression – toleration is not good enough we must have acceptance.
On the first Wednesday of each month I have turned over hosting and organizing duties to a local hip hop artist SheemOne TheMC. He books the creative talent and hosts the venue; he brings a wonderfully fresh vibe to Mind Gravy on the first Wednesdays.
The third Wednesday is Columbia Writer’s Alliance night and we encourage the use of prose writing in addition to original poetry and music; it also is an opportunity to highlight the work of the Columbia Writer’s Alliance.
Paisley: I know you to be very opinionated; have you always been this open & honest even during your youth? Were you active in civil rights or social rights activism?
Al Black: I was active in the anti-war movement and civil rights movement of the late 60’s and early 70’s. In Indiana I have been the VP of the NAACP Chapter and a national convention delegate. In the mid 90’s when the KKK announced they would do a public recruitment drive on the courthouse steps of my home town I founded an organization that put together a unity march & concert with thousands of participants the weekend before the KKK’s recruitment drive to show that our city was for unity and not hate and race mongering.
I was a diversity trainer at Purdue University and served on various community boards – including being the only non-Christian on the board of Lafayette Urban Ministries and the only non-Jew to serve as chairman of the International Holocaust Conference held annually at Purdue University. This is a short list of activities and organizations I have been involved with.
In Greater Columbia I also work with the 4th Annual Reel Black Pix Film Festival, the Columbia Writer’s Alliance and I am active in my faith community, Baha’i Faith. I am sure as time goes on the participation in the social fabric of the Midlands will expand.
Paisley: How have you instilled in your children a passion for being honest & active in society?
Al Black: They are not as active at starting organizing and protest but they do get involved in their communities. I think showing them by example is how they became aware of right and wrong. I believe my wife & I have been successful in doing [showing right from wrong]: we are proud of what they have become and their values of community and family.
Paisley: Finally, other than your blog & poetry venue are you involved with other cultural activities?
Al Black: I try to support other artistic venues and artists and I am beginning to work directly to assist the careers of a couple of deserving talented musicians. Being a trophy husband of a professor at Newberry College has given me the opportunity to attend events there and I have read poetry and featured at some events outside the Columbia area and South Carolina.
I believe I am most talented as an organizer and I expect to expand the reach of what I do beyond Wednesday nights @ Mind Gravy.
We all have talents and there is no such thing as doing nothing – not speaking up on issues or participating in your community is in its self a statement and an irretrievable squandering of your gifts and potential.
~~~
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She’s My Sister
26 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
in General Article Tags: family, Friends, life
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When I was a child, I asked my mom for a twin sister. After she finished laughing she tried to explain that it wasn’t possible for me to have a twin sister. Of course I didn’t under the reason why I wasn’t able to have a twin but later and with the help of sex education in 6th grade it finally made sense. A twin or sibling never came my way, which helped me to create an amazing bond with my mom & dad. We were a very close family and as a child I was shy and very much a bookworm. My favorite place to visit was the book stacks at the library.
Some of My Sisters
Within my neighborhood there weren’t many people like me, I enjoyed reading books and visiting museums with my mom. However, on some sticky hot days I would sit on the stoop of the three flat in which we lived. Over time there was a next door neighbor named Carla, who like me was different she liked school and books. We both understood that there was a world outside of the five surrounding blocks of our Chicago west side street. We each had our own big dreams of seeing the world and making our mark. Carla was my first real true friend.
Over time in school, I shed some of my shyness and garnered friendships with fellow classmates. I dealt with bullies and became the take no crap person that I am today. Yet my first true sister friendship was formed in Manning, SC with someone whom I consider to be my sister today well over 30 years after first meeting. Due to distance and time we lost touch with each other but after me moving to south our friendship was stronger than ever.
College Graduation
Looking at my life I have been blessed with many sister-friends from friendships formed in childhood, high school, and college as well as an adult living in a new city. In addition there are my sorority sisters, amazing women who together we seek to help make the world a little better. It is this collective of females from my past to my present that gives me strength to get over tough situations. During the deaths of my mother and grandmother, I learned that not just biological family loved me beyond measure but women who had become family. This was reiterated by getting help cleaning as well as trunk load of dry goods all the way to people visiting from 900 miles away.
Life will always be filled with tough situations that help to build our character. Still the times in our life where there is no strife help to build friendships. It is true that tough times help to solidify the bonds of a friendship but being able to be your every day self helps as well. I didn’t get a twin sister but I have a massive amount of sister-friends from north to sound that I know have my back just as much as if they were blood kin. To all those who I can call at anytime, and to those who know when I need to talk even before I pick up the phone, I say thanks sis’.
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Chicken Noodle Soup, Toast, & 7 Up
04 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: 7 Up, chicken noodle soup, family, Illness, life, toast
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Achooo!!!
Writing on the subject of ‘Peace’ is a little difficult today. Because I quite honestly am not in a peaceful place. I am sick by a a fellow co-worker, who knowing they were sick came to work. I kind of want to slug this person but I have enough common sense to stay home. Today is Sunday but tomorrow even though it is my work from home day, I may not be working because quite honestly I feel like crap. When you feel like crap you can’t work. And if you do work, it might not be up to high enough standards. So as I type this grumpy, stuffy, and achy, I am not feeling very peaceful.
But being sick helps me remember a similar time when I was in college and at home with my parents. My dad was working nights and so he was on duty to take care of me. Hey I am an only child, so what that I was 19 years old, my parents were wonderful in always letting me know I was loved. Because my stomach was upset my dad knew that orange juice would probably make it worse, so he gave me seven up. In addition to the seven up I had chicken noodle soup and dry toast. Now many years later I still eat chicken noodle soup, toast, and drink seven up when I am sick.
In our lives we all have moments that bring us peace when we are dealing with a difficult time. The combination of food when I am sick makes me remember the love of my parents and how they took care of me. My husband has been wonderful this weekend in taking care of me. He even drove for 140 miles round trip in order for me to check on my mom’s childhood home. We were there for no more than 10 minutes and picked up mail and then came back home. Life is always filled with unexpected moments such as getting a cold on a Friday and having an awful weekend. But even in the moments of sickness memories of love can emerge.
I am and will always be a glass half full person it just who I am. However, I do recommend to all who read this that if you are sick stay home. I know times are tough but no need in making your co-workers sick. And to all those who I breathed on prior to realizing that I too was sick I apologize. And to those who expect better writing from me I ask you to come back next Saturday.
___
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Peace Be With You
11 Dec 2011 1 Comment
in Feature Tags: Christmas, life, Peace, Random
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Early in our marriage, my husband and I decided to continue attending our individual churches. He is Catholic and I am Baptist, we figure different staircase same heaven. We alternate taking time to attend each other’s church and after 19 years of marriage, it works for us. One of the most enjoyable parts of visiting my husband’s parish is when the congregation shows signs of peace. Shaking hands with those sitting near you is always interesting. The common term said is “peace be with you”, where some have shortened the greeting to just “peace”.
Peace Be With You
I wonder how it would work outside of church to approach individuals and say “peace be with you”? How would it be taken, would the response be “and peace be with you too”? Or would people just run away from the crazy person offering signs of peace? It seems like such a simple concept peace, however, to have peace means to have tolerance and understanding. It means putting aside selfish ways for a more selfless attitude. We have all met people that have a aura of peace surrounding them. I have had co-workers whom I have found soleus with on crazy days because they helped bring calmness and peace to a chaotic day.
We are in the season of peace and joy. But shouldn’t this type of energy be carried through to the whole year. Or is it to tiring for most people to keep up the level of effort needed for a peaceful year. Just like new years resolutions the idea of peace is forgotten by late January. Then comes February a month where love is the highlight, a time when a derivative of peace makes an appearance. But I think big red hearts with “I Peace You” would not go over as well as “I Love You”.
I encourage you this season among the hustle and bustle, to find time to be at peace. Think about what is really important this year. During the official start of holiday shopping both shoppers and store personal were not very peaceful. Spraying pepper spray on fellow shoppers in addition to customers is not what Christmas nor Hanukkah is about. Both holidays reflect on past miracles the birth of Christ should be the focus of Christmas; and the miracle of the lantern remaining lit for eight days should be the focus of Hanukkah.
During a time when around the world there is economic strife and civil unrest there is need for peace more than ever. I believe that peace can be contagious; if each person passes on the attitude of peace it just may be as catching as the common cold. So today I encourage you to seek peace and to be at peace as well as passing on the message of peace. May be peace be with you and yours this holiday season.
~~~
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Christmas Memories
17 Dec 2011 1 Comment
in Feature Tags: Christmas, family, life
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Christmas Twists
Well it is a week before Christmas and all through the house not a decoration is put up or a present bought. Well I guess that isn’t completely true there are a few presents that have been purchased. This year is my first Christmas since the deaths of my mom and grannie; and I am I not looking forward to it. Even as an adult who relocated from my Midwest hometown, I have only missed a few times celebrating this holiday with my mom. I must admit being an only child, I racked up on Christmas gifts most years. Growing up with three sets (divorce, remarriage, etc.) of grandparents was wonderful. However, there were some lean times when Christmas was made even more special by my mom’s ingenuity.
My favorite childhood Christmas memory centers around the year when my mom started a new job and my dad was in between jobs. Money was tight and I actually didn’t expect to get much that year. I was about 10 years old and understood the reality of late utility bill notices, so I just wanted to have electricity and food. We put up the Christmas tree as we did every year and it stood decorated with heirloom ornaments. Gold silky wrapped Christmas balls with beautiful sugary looking icicles and lots of tensile hung on our artificial pine tree. There were never presents placed under the tree until late Christmas Eve after I went to sleep, maybe that is why I still believe in the magic of Santa Claus. So this particular year going to bed without presents under the tree seemed normal.
Traditional Chinese Doll
Christmas morning, I remember waking up to the scents of breakfast that included potato pancakes, sausage links, and fried apples. I put on my robe and shuffled out of my room and to my amazement saw Christmas presents under the tree. I don’t know what I was more excited about, my dad’s big breakfast or the unexpected Christmas presents. That particular Christmas, I received the most beautiful oriental dolls they were in part made of cloth and were adorned with beautiful silk robes. There was also a little leather pouch etched with Chinese characters on it. My mother looked anxiously as I opened everything and I gave her a big hug. It was an amazing unexpected and magical Christmas one of my favorite childhood memories.
My mother later told me that she wasn’t sure there would be any presents that Christmas but she happened upon an oriental store that was going out of business. I had been collecting figurine dolls for a few years and she decided that the oriental dolls would be a good addition to the collection, she was correct. With only a little money my mom brought Christmas magic to our home. There was a similar time when she would take an orange and insert whole cloves in the skin to scent our whole apartment. I had many Christmases that involved the “it” toy of the time but the memories that stand out are the ones that involved creativity and lots of love.
This Christmas season, I am thinking of the many families who don’t have anything but the clothes on their backs. Across this country there are families sleeping in cars; prayerfully who will come across a free meal on Christmas day. Each year, I try to give a little money to my local food bank, I can’t reach everyone in need but at least I can help some. As I said earlier this Christmas will be a little sad this year, there is no new angel to buy for my mom and no surprise treat to get for my grannie. However, I will attend Midnight Mass with my husband remembering that Jesus is the reason for this season; and carrying the love my mom poured into me in big and small ways.
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A Wonderful Child
24 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in Feature Tags: Christmas, family, Jesus, Mass
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There would be no Christmas Day without the birth of Jesus Christ it is just that simple. Christmas is the celebration of the coming of a little baby boy born in a manger and wrapped in swaddling clothes. He was conceived by the spirit of the God in a woman who was a virgin. It is a lot to take in but it is part of the foundation of the Christian faith; the second part is the death of Jesus of Nazareth but that is a different holy day, today the focus is Christmas.
I awoke this morning, which is Christmas Eve to the sounds of a Catholic mass half way around the world broadcasted from London, England; yes, I slept in quite late this morning. The mass started with explanation of the prophecy surrounding the future coming of the savoir and then explained the situation around his birth. Today is one of my favorite days but not merely because of the anticipation of Christmas; it is because of midnight mass. I am a member of a missionary Baptist church but my husband is Catholic. Prior to our marriage 19 years ago we began attending midnight mass at his parish in Chicago, Illinois; we carried the tradition to Columbia, South Carolina.
It is a wondrous feeling singing Christmas carols and remembering the humble birth of Jesus Christ. My church also has a service each Christmas and this year since it falls on Sunday, so will most churches. There is so much hustle and bustle around this season; people quite simply seem to forget the reason for the season. Sure there is the Jewish holiday of Hanukkah but I am Christian and therefore celebrate Christmas in all of its glory. However, I am certain the same commercialism surrounds Hanukkah.
Last year my family and I decided that we would not put up a Christmas tree, I don’t quite know exactly where the Christmas tree tradition began. I suppose I could easily find out but I would prefer to put up a nativity scene going forward because I don’t recall ever hearing about Jesus being born under a pine tree and wrapped in red and green tissue paper. Now don’t get me wrong I love the beauty of Christmas trees with beautiful ornaments and the smell of a live tree is amazing, however, I have decided to put a little more focus on the Christmas day foundation. There will also be the exchanging of a few gifts among family & friends just not all the fuss surrounding getting gifts for co-workers and everyone else I come in contact with on a daily basis.
In addition to attending midnight mass, I enjoy cooking a nice Christmas dinner. This year my husband works Christmas evening, so dinner will be prepared today on Christmas Eve. A few years ago my mom and I started a new tradition because our immediate family was small and consisted of only four people. My mom would make her very delicious spaghetti and meatballs from scratch and I would make green bean casserole with peach cobbler for dessert. Now this year it is only my husband and I so I have shifted the tradition to include more Christmastime themed food. This year will be a pot roast with mushrooms & onions; macaroni & cheese; green bean casserole; brussel sprouts with bacon; and wheat yeast rolls with brownies for dessert.
This year I was forced to face the reality that traditions do change as the faces around us change. Our plans in life do not always go as we would desire but when we have people around us that love us it makes the Christmas holiday just as happy as past years. Also remembering previous years filled with joyful moments makes current times just as joy filled. I must admit this Christmas is a little tough for me but I remember that God gave me the best gift of all when he sent his son Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. Finally, PaisleyPerspective wishes you and yours a very Merry Christmas filled with peace and love; and I leave you with a video and lyrics for one of my favorite Christmas songs, “Jesus, Oh What a Wonderful Child”.
Jesus, Oh What a Wonderful Child
Lyrics by: Margaret Allison
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Jesus, Jesus
Oh what wonderful child
Jesus, Jesus
So lowly meek and mild
New life, new hope joy He brings
Won’t you listen to the angels sing
Glory, glory, glory
To the new born King
~
Jesus, Jesus
Oh what a wonderful child
Jesus, Jesus
So lowly meek and mild
New life, new hope, new joy He brings
Won’t you listen to the angels sing
Glory, glory, glory
To the new born King
~
He was herald by the angels
Born in a lowly manger
The Virgin Mary was His mother
And Joseph was his earthly father
Three wise men came from afar
They were guided by a shining star
To see King Jesus where He lay
In a manger filled with hay
~
Jesus, Jesus
Oh what a wonderful child
Jesus, Jesus
So lowly meek and mild
Oh new life, new hope, new joy He brings
Won’t you listen to the angels sing
Glory
To the new born King
~
Oh Jesus
Jesus
Mary’s baby boy
Lamb of God
Heavenly Child
Jesus
Jesus
I Love Him
Oh Jesus
All Mighty God
King of kings
Oh Jesus
Oh Jesus
Oh, oh, oh, Jesus
Wonderful, wonderful one
Oh, oh
Oh Jesus
Oh Jesus
Son of God
Oh Jesus
Glory…
To the new born King, yeah…
~~~
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Thank You
27 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: blog, opinion, thank you
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To everyone who took some time this year to stop by and read the PaisleyPerspective blog, we thank you. Especially to those who’ve left comments or sent us emails you have helped keep energy up during a difficult year.
We are currently deciding next years monthly themes and a year in review blog post. As always, we are accepting submissions for stories, poems, photo essays, recipes, etc.
Peace & Blessings
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2011 Recap and 2012 Future Hopes
01 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in From The Editor Tags: life, opinion, Thoughts
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2011 Recap-Negatives
Each new year just as millions of people do, I reflect on the prior year and what were my best and worst moments. Looking back at 2011, I have decided that the worst moment of my year was on April 16th just after midnight when I discovered my mothers’ lifeless body. Death of a loved one is tragic but death of a parent is life shifting. My mother and I were very close and spoke each day always making sure we let the other know that they were loved. Everyday since her death, I have reached for the phone or thought about moments I wanted to share with her; it still hurts my heart to have her gone but day by day I am less sorrowful. There were other negative moments but that is at the top of the list with the death of my grandmother six weeks after my mother’s is a close second.
Knowing that I was loved allows me to make it through each day. I miss my mother terribly but my belief in God and an afterlife allows me to take comfort in the fact that she is in a better place.
2011 Recap-Positives
There are a number of positive and uplifting moments that occurred for me in 2011; however, the one thing that stands out is getting published for a second time. Being published in the anthology ‘Home Is Where: An Anthology of African American Poetry from the Carolinas’ edited by Dr. Kwame Dawes and published by Hub City Press is way at the top of my list. Attending a Prince concert and seeing George Clinton and the Parliament Funkadelics is up near the top as well. In addition, finding gainful employment even if not in the field of writing is an up for 2011. There are other items like maintaining a strong marriage with my husband of 19 years and having the love of family and friends during difficult times. When I think about it receiving the love of others is definitely near the top of my positives for the year.
2012 Future Hopes
As for the coming year, I am looking forward to being an active volunteer in the 2012 Presidential campaign as well as doing more writing for blogs and working on my poetry book. I know from events in 2011 that life is filled with many unexpected situations but there is truth in the statement “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”.
I have decided to not resolve to do anything overly dramatic, since last years resolutions of practicing my guitar and brushing up on French both fizzled out in early February. I am remembering that I’m human and I make mistakes but it doesn’t require a new year to make life changes. Each day we awaken is a new day ahead of us ready with new challenges and triumphs. So my primary future hope for 2012 is to always strive to be a little better each and every day.
PaisleyPerspective wishes you and yours a very Happy New Year filled with peace and abundant blessings. Stay tuned for the 2012 monthly themes that will be listed on the About page.
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Life…
10 Mar 2012 1 Comment
in From The Editor Tags: life, opinion
During our lifetimes there will be moments of triumph and tragedy. However, whatever comes our way we must keep our head up high and move forward. To all whom have supported me by stopping by to read a few lines and the opinions I share, I thank you. For those who are new to PaisleyPerspective, I have not posted as often as I should but what I do post is filled with thoughtful reflections. With that said I am working on content this month related to many dynamic women who have inspired me. Some I have met and others I have only read about, still all helped me become the woman I am today. So stop by soon or better yet subscribe to receive an email when fresh content is posted. In the meantime read some of my older post and always feel free to leave a comment.
