Full disclosure I have never used the word hate to describe feelings toward my mother. So maybe this title is a little misleading, however, I want to speak to the daughters who may not realize they have a good mother. Or to those whose mother may not have ever been in running for mother of the year. Whatever the issue may be as to why you are at odds with your mother, I say work toward healing.
I understand for some I am delving in deep and disturbing territory. I know that every mother is not an angel there are all types of women who have given birth. And before these women were mothers they were people trying to navigate life just like everyone else.
Shortly after my mother’s death, I was shopping and overheard a young woman complain about her mother. I don’t recall what she said to me but I remember what I told her, “my mother is dead and I wish I could have conversation with her.” I said it in such a way as to say “you are crazy to scream at your mother get over yourself.” Again, I know every mother will not win a prize but most mothers are trying to do the best they can.
Somewhere along the way society has made mothers to be this perfect ideal. You must raise your children and do all of the things associated with motherhood to perfection. And in modern day society that means working and still doing the majority of maintaining the home. When a woman falls short of this highly impossible to reach goal society frowns upon her.
On this Mother’s Day I want to say to the daughter who may have just stomped out the room, “get over yourself”. To all those who may not have a good relationship with their mother, I say “get over yourself.” If your mother is living and breathing and you are able to talk to her do so. Even if you feel it won’t make a difference. And this isn’t just for those biological mothers this is for anyone whom is dear enough to you to call mom.
Life only gives us so much time with those we love. We will not always get along with them. Still in the case of mothers reflect on what your mom has done for you. If your stack of pros out way the cons then you have a chance to make right a relationship with someone who can love you like no other. And if you believe there truly is no hope I pray you find a mother figure to feel the void. Because in this life no matter how old you may be having a mom in your life is a blessing.
5 thoughts on “To The Daughter Who Hates Her Mother”
I think you mean well and I would say for many mothers, if they do their best they deserve a hell of a lot of slack. But my mother purposely rained down her worst on me and it kills me every day.
Thank you for your comment.
This is the best! Some of us had mothers who were problematic. It’s not a matter of us being in a “stage” we’re going through, it’s a matter of what our mothers were like. But in any case, she was doing the best she knew how. And the love is still there. And I still miss my mom.
Nice thinking put in a nicer way. So totally true but fact being no matter how much persuaded or asked to some people are plain stupid who chose to close their eyes and not value the relation while it still lasts.
What a perspective. I think in every kid’s life a time comes when they think there parents are not good enough but later they realise they were wrong.