Excuse me, but can I get a bigger cocoon?

Spread your wings and prepare to fly

For you have become a butterfly — Mariah Carey

 

If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’re not Mariah Carey but yet we have something in common with MiMi besides our love of good lighting.  We’ve wanted to break free of our past to become the best versions of ourselves like a butterfly.

Everyone wants to change but who wants the discomfort that change requires? Not me.

Sadly, I learned almost two years ago that change has to happen even if you’re not ready to leave your comfort zone.

Finding the way out your cocoon is hard work

I’ve always been a  “go-getter”, “do it afraid-er” “step out on faith-er” but I also don’t always like getting out of my  comfort zone.

So how do I keep it moving? Usually I like to wait until I’m under life’s pressure then fight my way out of the corner or resort to other crazy methods. I came to this self-realization over a year ago in 2016 when I was so determined to move into the next phase of my life. I wanted to reclaim some of the things I felt I lost over the past several years and come out like this beautiful butterfly.

Instead, I found out that my cocoon was comfy as hell!

The house that I wanted to move out of for two years didn’t seem so bad because I loved my neighborhood and the hood loved me! (After all, I never got mugged, stabbed or shot living there.) It was convenient and the rent was affordable. But the downside was my rental was owned by a possible graduate of the Leona Helmsley School of Real Estate…or Trump University.

I wanted to improve myself in other areas of my life too including reclaiming my personal style and finances. While I accomplished these goals, I still let fear hold me back.

I wasn’t being proactive in leaving my cocoon because I didn’t want to hurt myself when I burst out.  This cocoon provided me with a safety net while I licked my wounds, figured out my mistakes, and mapped out what I needed to go forward.

Ready or not here I come

In October 2016, the bottom started to fall out of my cocoon. My upstairs neighbor died from a drug overdose one Sunday morning when I was just enjoying the comfort of life in my cocoon. The circumstances of her untimely death not only rocked my world, but it meant that I would have to move forward physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I must admit that although I had spent a year “preparing” for these changes, this butterfly was afraid to be exposed to this new phase. My wings aren’t vivid as I want but I’m no longer that crawling caterpillar so I have two choices: either fly or try to weave a bigger cocoon.

I choose to fly.

First of all, I’m pretty confident that it’s damn near impossible for a butterfly to weave a cocoon. Secondly, when God blesses you with the gift of change you shouldn’t hide it or keep it to yourself. Embrace it. Work through it. Be it.

XO

Keiana

If you’ve finished you might be asking what I am going to do now that the whole big cocoon thing isn’t working for me? I’m going to pray, set digestible goals and remember why I set these goals in the first place.

~~~

About the Author: Keiana Greene-Page is a Senior Communications Specialist for an international labor union and a retirement security advocate by day. By night, she’s an aspiring jewelry designer and owner of Selene by KGP.  Keiana is a graduate of Benedict College, Columbia, S.C. and currently resides in the Washington, DC suburbs. Follow her on Twitter: @kpageprmonster